Whirlwind Wrestling LLC: One Night Only (11/11/2019)

[@whirlwind_LLC]

“Let’s not roll out the red carpet just yet.”

Double J Joe Jones says as the scene slowly fades in to reveal the current longest reigning champion in WW history standing inside a WhirlWind Wrestling ring in an empty gym.

“I know the IWC is on fire with chatter about B Epic breaking my record, a record I set and have proudly held, and will continue to hold after November the 11th. Just about every mouth breathers in this shit hole has come up to me, saying stupid shit like, Joe! How will it feel to be the second best champion in Whirlwind history? Joe! What will you do when B Epic flicks that chip off of your shoulder? JOE! Can we just crown B Epic the greatest fighting champion in WhirlWind history already!”

Joe takes a deep breath and rubs his forehead with his hand.

“Jesus, fuck. Like? Really? Have all of you forgotten the bullshit I had to deal with to win that belt? Have you all forgotten how Bryan Blaze ducked me, hid from me and went out of his way to NOT fight me? And then he got management to stand in front of him and I had to not only fight the aforementioned Bryan Blaze, but I had to also swat this gnat Sam Tolsen out of the way, stupid bitch that she was, or, still is. Who the fuck cares about those two losers anyways? Course, now that I mentioned their names for the first time in over a year on WhirlWind Wrestling TV, I’m pretty sure that fat fuck Nanook will hunt them down, and tell em a tale on how they are on fire in Whirlwind right now, how the wrestling world wants to see them return and he’ll sign them and drag their carcasses back here just to fucking annoy me.”

Joe rolls his eyes and shakes his head slightly.

“Listen, I'm only to say this once so pay attention. Even IF B Epic somehow manages to beat me on the 11th, which is to say, highly unlikely, he will never and I mean NEVER be a greater champion in this company that I am. Oh yeah, you heard me correctly, I am still a better champion right now then he'll ever be.  You see, you all seem to forget, that I at least defended my belt. I had multi matches as the champion. B Epic’s highlight as the champion, is getting shown up by a midget and trying to shed Callaway off of his coat tails. This company’s champion has YET to step in this ring and have a match, be it for the title or non title since winning the belt. 70 days have come and gone, and at best! B Epic is merely a paper champion. He is a photoshopped picture on this company’s website! He hasn’t broken a sweat. He hasn’t taken a bump as the champion. He hasn’t lifted a finger as the champion of this company. 70 days! All standing on the sidelines.”

Joe places his hands on the top rope and leans towards the camera.

“If the morons who throw down their hard earned money to buy tickets to our shows, to the dolts who run up their credit cards that they can’t pay, getting deeper in debt by buying B Epic merch, if you snowflakes want to place the moniker ‘Greatest Champion in Whirlwind History” on a t shirt and carrying him on your shoulders, then by all means, go ahead. I can’t stop you. But!”

Joe holds up his finger and smirks.

“When I become this company's only 2 time champion, don’t cry me a river. Don’t go chanting “Not my champion!” and throwing a hissy fit. In a couple of days, the 11th month of the year, on the 11th day, at 11 at night, history will be written, as I expose B Epic has a fraud that he is. I will be his undoing. I will show the world that Rancor, was just a blimp on the map and B Epic."

"Just. Got. Lucky.”

Joe lets go of the ropes and takes a step back.

"The Macho Man said it best.  The cream always rises to the top.  I am the cream that always rises to the occasion.  I am the cream that is on top of his game.  I can't be beaten."

Fade out.

---

Thatcher: Welcome everyone to this special One Night Only event, where we are guaranteed to see something HISTORIC! Either current reigning, defending, undisputed International Whirlwind Champion B. Epic will break the prior record for the longest reign as champion, or the current record holder, Joe Jones, will set his own record and become the first-ever two-time, two-time International Whirlwind Champion! What a time to be a wrestling fan. But before that, let’s take it backstage to the Meat Sauce Mafia, and how they’re doing after their run in with Pendragon and the underground mixed martial arts legend MAX Danger, in a Nightmare on Elm Street Fight!

---

Cameras open once again to the smoker’s lounge, this time though the other patrons are nonexistent. It’s just RUIN and continual shit talker Monte the Python, and they did not look to be the best of shape. RUIN sat on the couch in a pair of basketball shorts and a loose fitting muscle shirt with a band-aid over his forehead, while Monte sat slumped back on the leather couch, neckbrace around his neck and clad in a pair of black and blue track pants, and a Whirlwind company t-shirt.

Monte the Python: What wa...man, I ain’t know if this shit gon’ be for me, what the hell you get me into man…?

RUIN: Makin’ you a star, kid. Gettin’ you paid.

Monte: Wha? Yo dawg, you got my ass kicked is what you got me. That punk no name kid coulda knocked my face off, then that masked man of mystery coulda put my butt on the shelf! I still can’t even reach my hands up all the way over my head after he stretched me, what the f –.

RUIN: What? You got paid. didn’t you? You had the best spot on the whole damn show, you had the main event with the two guys the company is pretty high on. And you delivered. You heard that crowd, they all wanted you dead...and then the bonus with the young kid? The Consortium is gonna remember that, you got yourself a deal for life with the company…

Monte: Yo, I ain’t feel like I won anything though. Feels like I’m gonna be sick and go back to runnin’ round the office gettin’ coffee and shit.

RUIN: Why. You already went through the hell, you’re already beat up, you already got paid...why back out now? You must not have noticed cause you was out on your feet, but I did. When you got in that kid’s face and brought Pendragon to unload on you...you shoulda heard the Gimnasio. You got the loudest pop of the night. Even more than that young kid they got holding the strap…

Monte: Y’think?

RUIN nods, then leans forward and grabs a cigar, lights it, and hands it to Monte.

RUIN: Sit back, smoke up. You took your licks and earned that money tonight. Like I said man, you got The Consortium’s balls in a vice right now. You could demand any money because he can’t just let you walk. Those people will pay a lot of money to see you get your face kicked in by that crowd…

Monte took a puff of the cigar with a wince and a wheeze while his partner continued.

RUIN: You did it, boy. Thousands of “wrestlers” spend decades trying to get that connection and never earn a single dime. But you got it. Long as you stay here in Whirlwind, you’re a star. Keep it up, and you might even negotiate to close to my salary.

Monte: …

RUIN: Think on it. I got a match to run through. We’ll check back later tonight.

RUIN got up to leave the smoker’s lounge while Monte sat in a cloud of cigar smoke and pain. The allure of future money seemingly the only thing keeping the smile on his face.

---

RUIN vs Ace Sky

Thatcher: Folks, we have a special treat for you, as a promising young upstart will be trying out with us, as he takes on the long time veteran, RUIN, here on this special night. Let’s join the match in-progress.

...RUIN shoves Ace Sky into the ropes, to which Ace uses the momentum to jump onto the second rope, and springing back into RUIN with a back elbow smash! RUIN goes down hard as Ace lies across the veteran, referee Farva dropping down to make the count;

1!

2 –

RUIN shoves Ace away!

Thatcher: Wow, what a move by the much younger Ace Sky!

Ace is easily quicker of the two and gets up first. RUIN slowly sits up while Ace turns and hits the ropes, then coming off them to nail RUIN with a big protruding knee strike – but RUIN catches him, spins him around, and clobbers him with a big clothesline to the back. The impact sends Ace down, while RUIN drops a big elbow across his spine, before finally turning him over and making a cover of his own;

1!

2!

Ace kicks out! RUIN seemed unsurprised however as he clocked Ace in the face with a forearm before going right back to another pinfall situation;

1!

2!

Again, Ace kicks out.

Thatcher: Look at this kid’s drive to continue. He’s giving up almost a hundred pounds to the veteran, but he’s not letting it prevent him from putting on a fight!

Before RUIN could continue the onslaught, Ace rolls away from the veteran, catching him with a high protruding knee to the chin as he gets up to his feet. RUIN takes the hit hard before keeling over onto his back. Ace then points to the turnbuckle and takes to the…Sky – just as RUIN slowly rolled to the side of the ring and under the bottom rope, on the apron.

Thatcher: Whether you like RUIN or not, time and time again you have to respect the veteran instincts on display here. Ace Sky can’t jump onto RUIN if he’s taking shelter under the ropes.

With no other option, Ace jumps down off the top rope, while RUIN just so happens to inconspicuously roll back inside at the same time. He sits up on his knees as Ace comes to him with a mid-high kick to the side, prompting RUIN to open on him with an open palm slap to the chest, a stinging echo being heard throughout the entirety of the Gimnasio! The impact sent Ace reeling back while RUIN advanced, lighting up the rookie’s chest with ANOTHER open palm slap, this time Ace recoils hard from the shot! RUIN then advances forward and wraps both arms around him with a crushing bearhug submission, utilizing his incredible size advantage to squeeze the air out of the rookie’s body!

Thatcher: Shades of “The Living Legend”, Bruno Sammartino there. It’s been a long time since I’ve watched someone apply that hold...sometimes, classics just don’t go out of style.

Ace’s facial expression turned to one of anguish as he could almost feel his body collapsing on him, under the girth of RUIN. Farva moved to check on Ace, asking him if he wanted to give up. The rookie however, off course replied with a resounding no. RUIN replied by adding even more pressure, causing Ace’ eyes to almost pop out of his head, before in a last ditch effort, he brings his hands up and boxes RUIN’s ears with a wide arm clap! The ringing in the veteran’s ears offered more than enough of a distraction to break the hold. Ace slipped out while RUIN held his hands to his head in pain, while Ace hit the ropes, then off the rebound he leapt up to deliver a beautiful Meteora to the veteran that sent him to his back! The Gimnasio roared in approval of the veteran getting knocked on his back, and roared louder as Ace Sky turned back to the turnbuckle, and began climbing again…

Thatcher: Ace Sky going high risk one more time!

Within a moment, Ace leapt off the top rope with an impeccable, overly exquisite shooting star press!

Thatcher: He calls that move the Galaxy Leap! Beautiful. And, if he hits that, dare I suspect that RUIN will be down for the count.

SPLASH!

Ace landed perfectly onto RUIN, hooking the near leg as he came down, it was almost poetry in motion! Farva moved in to count the fall;

1!

2!

3!

Cruz Bleckley: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner…ACE! SKKKYYYYY!!

Thatcher: What a contest, and what a first impression by the young rookie, Ace Sky! I hope The Consortium was watching; I would be highly interested in seeing more from this kid, right here in Whirlwind Wrestling.

Farva raises Ace’ hand in the ring while RUIN nonchalantly leaves the ring under the bottom rope, and off cam while we fade out, and then back in with the locker room area.

---

Following a great debut incursion for Ace Sky, we go to the back with The Saturn Boys – Gil and Mike – whom are…not looking their best. Gil had a deep shade of purple forming under his eye while Mike stood next to him with a crutch held under his left arm. Obviously their recent appearance at All Hallows Eve had taken it’s toll on them…before they could even speak, they were joined by the attractive, sultry backstage correspondent, Whirlwind’s own; Nikki Mynx.

Nikki Mynx: Gil? Mike? I’m surprised to see the two of you even walking, much less showing up here tonight for the One Night Only. What brings you here?

Gil gingerly stepped forward and lowered his head with a wince down to her microphone level as he spoke, admittedly somewhat softly.

Gil Saturn: Nikki, have you ever worked in the presence of royalty?

Nikki: No, I can’t say I have. Why?

Gil: Why? You ask why. Really?

Nikki: Yes.

Gil: Nikki, as I forever work in the employ of the only Queen of the Whirlwind, Miss Veronica Taylor, it’s my job – ahem, our job – to do whatever is necessary to look out for and protect her lordship and the Championship which she and she alone, brings prestige to.

Mike steps up, albeit hobbling on his crutch as he chimes into the discussion.

Mike Saturn: For those basic bitches that cheered at the way we were tossed around like yesterday’s garbage at All Hallows Eve, unlike them, we don’t take sick days. Those basics that will call off work for a case of the sniffles, we arrive to work to do our job. When we learned of The Mastodon being here tonight –

Big pops for Mastodon from the Gimnasio.

Gil: And knowing that he’s been practically gifted our Queen’s Gulf Coast Championship, on December 20^th, at Seasons Past –

Mike: It’s our job to scout The Mastodon, and report back to Veronica Taylor herself, of any weaknesses in his ability she can exploit for her “Countout Only Match”, in this final attempt to move past this lumbering neanderthal, and move onto bigger and better things.

Gil: Gulf Coast Championship things. Where Queen Veronica shows why this Championship that we protect and accentuate, is the most important accessory that anyone –

Mike: Past, Present, or Future –

Gil: thinks about, or aspires to someday dream about receiving an opportunity to challenge for. Of course they’ll ultimately fail in their claim to it, but, it’s nice to let the basics dream, isn’t it?

Nikki: I see. So, we can expect you to come out to ringside then?

The Saturn Boys turn to each other and laugh.

Gil & Mike: Us? Ah ha ha ha ha ha. We’re not going out there El-Oh-El. We’re gonna stay right back here, from the safety of this locker room, and take all the detailed notes we can get. Now, get the heck out of our space. Your basic presence is no longer wanted.

Before Nikki could get another word in, she’s pushed out of the locker room and the door closed behind her.

Nikki: There you have it folks. Back to you, Derrick.

Thatcher: Funny guys…who would ever shove Nikki Mynx out of their shot, anyway? Whatever, folks The Mastodon is next!

---

The Mastodon vs Jose Sanchez

Mastodon wasted no time in starting on Jose, while Nanook stood ringside with his freshly signed client. The timid, admittedly novice Jose slowly reached his hand out to Mastodon, whom instead took his hand and took him over to the mat. Jose’s body made a loud thud while the man beast hit the ropes then came back, splashing down onto Jose with all his weight! Mastodon remained over Jose in a lateral press, prompting Farva to count the fall;

1!

2 –

Jose kicks out! Mastodon wastes no time though as he grabs Jose by his short curly black hair and drags him to his feet. Mastodon throws Jose into the ropes, then hits back to the perpendicular side of the ring. As Jose comes back towards the center, so does The Mastodon with a HUGE lunging shoulderblock that could have broke Jose in two! Nanook was overjoyed to witness the carnage, incredibly so!

Thatcher: THHHHEEEEE PPPOOOUUUUNNNNCCCCCCEEEEEEE!!!!

Mastodon picks Jose’s dead weight up off the mat effortlessly like a sack of potatoes, planting him on his shoulders. Mastodon marches around the ring with Jose when Fifth Harmony’s “Baby I’m Worth It” hits, drawing the Gimnasio to a loud chorus of booes!!

Thatcher: Of course. That music belongs to the one and only, our Gulf Coast Champion...Veronica Taylor…

Mastodon effortlessly drops Jose on the mat as he turns to the aisle. But there was no one there. As he turns around, there she was, stood on the ring apron and holding a bottle of her signature, Veronica’s Secret, but looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Nanook waddles over to her to attempt to pull her down, but takes a heel to the shoulder and a face full of perfume for his troubles!

Thatcher: Hey, c’mon now! You don’t have to like him, but Nanook isn’t a wrestler! That was a totally classless and uncalled for move by Veronica!

Mastodon was steaming at Veronica’s actions! Without removing his eyes from her, he picked up Jose, and without even so much as blinking, he propped him up, spun around, and planted him with the “MASTOBOMB” (Deep Six Powerbomb), in the center of the ring! Jose wasn’t responsive while The Mastodon made the cover, his eyes still unwavering from Veronica, while Farva made the count;

1!

2!

3!

Cruz Bleckley: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner as a result of a pinfall...THHHHEEEE!! MAAASSSTTOOODDDOOONNN!!

Ozzy’s “Hellraiser” plays for The Mastodon while Veronica quickly makes her exit back up the aisle.

Thatcher: The Mastodon making short work of Jose Sanchez, here tonight. Make no mistake that was a message being sent to Veronica. But let’s call a spade a spade, Jose Sanchez is not Veronica Taylor, Veronica is a decorated former champion everywhere she has ever gone, she is a veteran of this business. But this Mastodon…I don’t know what we’re going to see, folks. Tune in December 20^th for Seasons Past, when these two burn it down, for the Gulf Coast Championship!

The camera fades with Mastodon celebrating in ring and Nanook wiping the perfume from his eyes, also in the ring so he can get the victory rub from his beast of a client.

---

---

Lil Troy’s “Wanna Be a Baller” hits the ears of the Gimnasio as the fans rise to their feet for their reigning International Whirlwind Champion, B. Epic. But where was he? The beat continued, but the champion was nowhere to be seen.

Thatcher: B. Epic is scheduled here for competition, and he’s never been known to be late folks...in fact, we just shared a conversation over coffee in catering before the show, I don’t –

Just then the Gimnasio roared in approval as their International Whirlwind Champion emerged from the crowd, a true man of the people he is. He held the Championship highly in both hands over his head as he headed down to the floor level, but stopped. With a hand holding the Title in place over his shoulder, his other hand produced a live microphone as he began to address his people.

B. Epic: Thank yawl, truly, it’s been great and ya boi Ol’ B ain’t ever expected this dream to happen like this ever since that night. Ya boi know yawl wanna see a fighting champion though, and lately I ain’t really been about that what with this holiday schedule and all…Joe Jones is right, ‘bout alla that. I kno I ain’t bouta deny that.

Thatcher: What?! Joe Jones hasn’t ever been right about anything though…

B. Epic: But here’s where he wrong though.

B. Epic makes his way to the security railing, half over it, sitting atop it as he continued.

B. Epic: Yeah, I listened to old dude’s diatribe earlier tonight. He kinda full of ish, but he make some points so credit where it due y’know? Yeah, tonight is the night where I might overtake that record from him, and old dude nervous as hell bout alla that. This young kid bouta take the one thing that old dude can claim to be important ‘round here. And I’ma do it in one match. See, things was different in Joe’s time than my time. The shows were chaotic, people ran around and did whatever they wanted to do. Hell, even old dude, you can’t act like you was some moral upstanding individual… Ol’ B know how you “won” this title. Maybe we should all take a look, you lyin old hack.

Thatcher: I know what he’s about to show, and ohmygosh he’s absolutely right. Joe Jones has NOTHING to brag on…

B. Epic points up at the flatscreen projector at the top of the aisle way for a video to be starting now.

WhirlwindⓇ Flashback said:

Whirlwind Wrestling: Threads of Disloyalty 5/6/2018

The Gimnasio was really starting to get behind Sam now for her valiant efforts and never-say-die personality, it was like she could do no wrong! She sat up, more than a little dazed after the several headshots from Blaze, but she knew what she had to do. She knew what she was put here on this night, to do. Seemingly willing herself to her feet, she stood up, she belted out a screech at Blaze, “GET UP!” Whether on instinct or habit the cry brought Blaze to his feet. He stumbled a bit, but Sam punched him one square on the jaw, then brought his head between her legs, as she began to lift him up...

Thatcher: She hits this, and it's all over.

Blaze leapt out of the clutches of the feared “Victory Drop Alpha” to the barricade, springboarding back to her with “The Heatwave” (Springboard Enziguri), which sent her right to the floor! Blaze collapses over her just as the adrenaline runs dry...

1!

2!

Mynx: Hey, who turned out the lights?!

Thatcher: Where are you going with that, we need that!

Need what? When the lights come back on, a trio of masked individuals in full-fledged riot gear stood behind Blaze, cracking the back of his head with a TV monitor that surely was taken from the desk! One of the masked individuals seems to direct traffic as they order the other two to grab the [now out on his feet] Blaze by the arms and pick him up in a joint cross-powerbomb, flinging him down against the ring apron!!

Mynx: What is this!!

Thatcher: Did you see the way Blaze' neck just snapped back on the impact?!

Blaze falls in a heap at the masked individuals feet, but they don't seem done. Just as Sam sits up in a haze of blurred vision, the one directing traffic cracks the same monitor over her head, putting her out! Together all three drag Sam to the announce table. The two of them begin to pick her up, while the third mocks and taunts her with a loud, guttural sound, something along the lines of “OOOOOOHHHHH!! AAAHHHHHHH!!” The two pick up Sam and place her on the third's shoulders, slamming her down on top of the announce table in a brutal, triple powerbomb!!

Thatcher: Wait........

Mynx: Was that really...?

The trio stood over Sam with their fists all lined up together, then with their free hands they removed their masks...

Bianca Davis.
Veronica Taylor.
Jacob Hotstuff.

The Upper Class.............

Thatcher: Oh my [expletive] God you have GOT to be kidding me!

Mynx: That, that's not possib......

Thatcher: Clearly it is, we're witnessing it. The Upper Class strikes again!

Amid the chaos, Joe Jones finally, finally, starts to blindly stir, seeing only a glimmer of what appears to be Sam rested over the broken announce table, he pulled himself to her, draping an arm over her as he arrived. The Upper Class, peacefully, backs away from the pin as the referee makes the count;

1!

2!

3!

Thatcher: What...did that just.....??

From the PA: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match as a result of a pinfall...and NNNEEEEWWWWW!! International Whirlwind Champion.................”Double J”! Joe!! Jones!!!

The referee laid the Whirlwind Championship across Joe's chest the Gimnasio comes UNGLUED at what just happened! Blaze, Tolson...The Upper Class just dictated who could be the champion! What does this mean? Does Joe Jones have The Upper Class in his back pocket? Is Joe Jones a PART OF The Upper Class? Was it passing coincidence?

Mynx: What did we just witness??

Thatcher: Joe Jones is a top champion what even is this timeline we're on? Is this even planet Earth?

Mynx: Killed by Sam, shunned by Bryan, he's the black sheep of pro wrestling...yet now we have to acknowledge Joe freakin Jones as our International Whirlwind Champion.......

None of the three are even stirring after the war they just shared, only The Upper Class stood by cackling manically at how they controlled the landscape. Just like life-away-from-wrestling – the rich, powerful, and influential determine who gets richer, and who remains struggling for survival. The booes are real. The booes are loud. Deafening. What The Upper Class has done on this night is sure to be a moment to live on in infamy for years to come inside of the Whirlwind. Maybe even forever…

Mynx: I'm still without words, Derrick.

Thatcher: I'm right there with you, Nikki. The course of the company has been altered by three athletes' own ego and loathing towards other fellow man. And I'm afraid for what it means for us.

Mynx: The Upper Class was stopped earlier tonight. But what we thought was a stoppage turned out to only be a hiccup. They really do rule the roost.

Thatcher: No. No way, I refuse to believe we live in a world where the Jacob Hotstuffs and Veronica Taylors are king and queen. Somebody, anybody, who can end The Upper Class once and for all?

Mynx: Can anyone truly end class?

Thatcher: My partner asking the real questions here. Folks, we'll see you next month with the answers to this, hopefully, and more!

The video cuts off as the entirety of the Gimnasio are left incessantly booing at the memories of the most infamous unit in Whirlwind history.

B. Epic: Y’see, Joe Jones would have us all believe that he was some kind of great champion, and the best of this company because, why, he successfully defended the title once and was the longest reigning champion? Old dude, you wouldn’t even have won the title, you was just in the right place, at the right time. And what did you do with it? You LOST...to my Epic Angle partner, Stephen Callaway! So, if you wanna step to the Epitome of Epic, and start flappin’ your gums and claim to be the best International Whirlwind Champion…

Then boi, you better bring it all. Man, get yo ass out here old dude, you bouta catch this ass-kickin!

Ding. Ding.

Night Club’s Dear Enemy hits and all the booes in the world are directed at the entrance, for the emergence of the most outspoken man in Whirlwind history…

International Whirlwind Championship
PRIDE Fighting Rules
B. Epic© vs Joe Jones

“Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight, is your real main event, and in this match, there will be no such thing as bullshit wrestling, instead, it’s going to be about giving the audience what they want, like that one promotion I worked at didn’t understand when I was over in that company…”

Thatcher: What the hell, a hijack? Quick, production cut his mic!

“And what they want is this promotion to pop and expand, and I’m the guy to do such a thing, for you see, the truth is about this place, is that it’s missing something, something big, something explosive…And that something is...”

You could feel the voice trying to continue, but all he broadcast was dead air. Moments after, event security quickly rushed to the man’s place at ringside, rather forcefully pulling him from his seat to be (presumably) escorted from the Gimnasio. In his removal, the man looked rather stout – large arms, long dark hair that appeared inexplicably wet, and with a facial expression that suggested he was anxious for his own moment. Vengeful towards…something.

B. Epic and Joe look around, surprised more than anything at the hijack. Neither man Why now? Why moments before such a historic match for the International Whirlwind Championship?

Thatcher: Folks, I apologize for the disruption to the show, on behalf of this company. Never in our existence have I seen such an act, but I am beyond confident that it will not happen again. Please, enjoy this main event like I will be.

Joe slipped behind the champion with a rear waist lock, and with speed, hurled him backwards in pure belly-to-back form – but B. Epic landed on his feet where he was able to run up and drive a high knee into the spine of the former champion. Joe stumbled forward while B pressed on with a dropkick to the backside of his knee joint, which sent Joe down with a yelp. Quickly B moved to the ropes then, his primary foot rested on the middle as we all know what was coming next…

Thatcher: B. Epic isn’t being paid by the hour tonight, he wants to give Joe a new highlight – shortest time in an International Whirlwind Championship match ever!

But Joe would have none of it. Flipping over, he backed up to the perpendicular side of the ring and under the ropes, the defensive move forcing B to come away from his early finish.

“Aight, c’mon on in then, old man...” the champion goaded Joe, which of course didn’t sit well with him at all. Joe obliged though and approached B whom went for the lock up with Joe, but instead Joe ducked down, kicking B’s “inner thigh”, just slightly out of the view of veteran senior official The Jazz, who after asking, begins watching Joe much, much more intently.

Thatcher: Joe might have gotten away with something, but he won’t pull that again on Jazz. He’s not about to let a PRIDE Rules match for the IWC end on such a dirty, dishonourable tactic.

The kick rocked the champion though, taking his focus and sending him down to the mat. This allows Joe to take control, and show just why he is still the longest reigning champion. Starting from the waist, Joe stomps on B, moving down to the thigh, knee, calf, then other calf, knee, thigh, and hip, a lower-body only version of the famed Garvin stomp, before taking B’s leg in his hand and letting out a mocking “WOOOO” - and we all know exactly what Joe is doing here.

Thatcher: The most famous submission hold in all of pro wrestling history, the Figure Four Leg Lock…

Joe crosses over B’s legs and lies down into the hold, the full pressure put on the champion as he yelps out in pain! Joe braces himself with his hands behind his back, propping him up as he snarls forward at B “Just give in, chump!” B lets out a scream before falling back on the mat. The Jazz drops down to check the hold…

1!

2!

B. Epic kicks out!

Thatcher: The young Champion learning the hard way there’s no relief from a Figure Four!

BUUUZZZZ!!

That sound means it’s the end of round one, so The Jazz must force the two men to break the hold. Joe reluctantly breaks, but when he does, he stands to his feet and raises both arms in the air triumphantly. Moving to ringside is both Nikki Mynx and ring announcer Cruz Bleckley. Derrick Thatcher joins them and the three discuss the round scoring.

Cruz Bleckley: After careful deliberation, we have to award round one to Joe Jones, on points! Round two will start in twenty seconds.

Nikki Mynx takes her place at ringside with long time partner Derrick Thatcher, for the next rounds of this match.

Mynx: It’s been a few months Derrick. How’s it feel to be side-by-side once again?

Thatcher: Never could I think of a better partner to call this incredible match with, Nikki. Joe Jones just took the early lead into this match on points, how does that affect a young, proud Champion such as B. Epic going into the next round?

Mynx: Well, I have to think he’s gonna be even hungrier. He’s got a lot to prove, and right now he’s got even more to prove on top of things. Joe had better look out...and maybe B. Epic should try to avoid the Figure Four this time.

Thatcher: Always a good plan, ha ha.

Ding. Ding.

B. Epic hobbles to his feet, still clearly feeling the submission work of Joe while Joe flashes a smirk of confidence. “I’m the best, I told you I’m going to expose you as the paper champion,” Joe lambasted the Champion with, before delivering a crisp throat thrust that sent B down to the mat. Joe moves back to the legs again, and again stomps on them in the same semi-circle pattern, this time though B catches Joe on the side of his face with a kick that sent him aside. B rolled back on his shoulders, then kipped up unbeknownst to Joe. He slammed his elbow to the back of Joe’s head which sent him to the mat, followed by a pinfall and a snug lateral press by B;

1!

2 – Joe kicks out!

B slides over Joe in a mount position, raining down closed fist after closed fist as Joe tries to cover up, this crowd however…

“BEAT HIM UP!”
“BEAT HIM UP!”
“BEAT HIM UP!”

Mynx: The Gimnasio thoroughly enjoying B. Epic taking it to Joe Jones here!

Thatcher: I think it’s safe to say we all do.

On a last ditch effort, Joe reaches up and jabs his thumb into B’s eye, forcing the Champion out of the mount and buying Joe the time he needed to recoup. A blind Champion is easy pickings for a scavenger like Joe, and he’s showing it with a set of double knees to the face and a basement level shotgun dropkick! B fell back, arms sprawled out, prompting Joe to take a stand…with one foot over the Champion’s chest!

Thatcher: The disrespect of Joe Jones…

Mynx: Though, not exactly unexpected, sad as it were.

Jazz moves in to make a count;

1!

2!

…

…

B. Epic kicks out!

Thatcher: Slow moving by B. Epic, but at least he’s still in this.

Joe kicks B over onto his chest then turns right back to the lower body. With a running start, he drops an elbow over B’s legs, springs back to his feet, and does it again! And a third, a fourth, and a fifth! Joe then picks the leg of the Champion up and pulls back, locking in a half crab that caused B to scream out in pain! Jazz checks on B in the process.

Mynx: Joe Jones is on fire tonight with his persistent targeting of the legs of our Champion.

Thatcher: Of course. Joe isn’t stupid. He knows B. Epic only has one move he finishes with, and that’s “The Epic”. If he can’t stand, there’s no way he can deliver that springboard bicycle kick.

Mynx: The logic is very sound…but can it take Joe to the promised land? That’s the question that demands an answer.

Several times B raises his hand up and slams it down on the mat – almost, B. Epic stops himself each time, not wanting to give up this Title and what it means to himself and every single fan in the Gimnasio!

“Tap, you stupid little punk,” Joe snarled at the champion!

BUUUZZZZ!!

With the close of round two, Jazz again forces Joe to break his hold, and again Joe beats his chest and raises his arms, a show of dominance over the Champion indeed being something to be proud of.

Thatcher: With two rounds under his belt, B. Epic ends up in the clutches of a Joe Jones submission each time. That can’t be good for his points appeal.

Cruz Bleckley this time comes to the announce table to confer with the other two judges while B pulls himself to a corner and lies against the bottom turnbuckle pad. He knew he was in a bad way – and Joe Jones was loving every minute of it.

Cruz Bleckley: After careful deliberation, we have to award round two to Joe Jones, on points! Round three will start in twenty seconds.

Thatcher: Joe Jones has two rounds under his belt, if he can win round three the same way, that’s it. Lights out. He’ll have shut out the current champion from winning on anything other than a hard pin or submission!

Mynx: If you’re Joe Jones, you have to be feeling incredibly good about yourself for that too.

Ding. Ding.

Joe Jones was licking his lips as B. Epic struggled to even stand, seemingly only getting to his feet with the aid of the ropes.

“You’re over. It’s done,” Joe snapped! He comes all the way over to B’s corner, but it’s B that takes the advantage as he grabs Joe and slams him face first into the turnbuckle pad! Joe eats cushion then falls to the mat below which prompts the Champion to deliver a pair of stomps of his own to Joe’s legs. A third stomp for good measure later and B is starting to feel it. Gingerly, he steps back to the corner, and props himself up seated on the top rope, his feet dangling onto the second. With a flash, B delivers a short range leg drop – right onto the challenger’s legs!

Mynx: Ouch!!

Joe tries to curl up after the devastating impact, but the champion isn’t about to let him retreat. Instead, B grabs Joe by the legs and wraps around them, applying his own Figure Four Leg Lock!

Thatcher: Turnabout, Nikki. It’s fair play.

This time it’s Joe’s turn to scream out in the intense agony of pain but B. Epic pays him no mind as he bridges upward in an attempt to Figure Eight the hold – but Joe has other plans as he fights it, instead flipping him over to reverse the pressure!

Mynx: Joe Jones really is a ring general isn’t he?

The unexpected shift took B by surprise, but he had the wherewithal to release the hold, before Joe could fully turn him over. Both men however, lay still. Fatigue certainly setting in from this intense, stamina-driven match, the clock ticking down all the same.

“LET’S GO EPIC!”
“SUCK IT JOE!”

Thatcher: Never ever doubt the passion of the Gimnasio.

Mynx: They are really into this match, aren’t they?

Slowly, Joe begins to sit up, followed shortly thereafter by B. The two from their knees trade punches, with the younger B. Epic getting the better of the encounter. He drapes his arm across the chest of Joe, prompting The Jazz to drop down to count;

1!

2!

3 – Joe reverses the pressure, and wedges B. Epic into a pin!

1!

2!

…

…

B. Epic barely manages to kick out!

Mynx: Joe held that wedge tight! I have to believe that B. Epic only kicked out because Joe’s fatigue has to be running near it’s peak!

Joe sits up, now for the first time in this match appearing visibly frustrated. But B hadn’t moved. With all his energy, Joe got to his feet, and pulled B with him. He hooked B in tight, and with a swing, Joe drives B into the mat face first, the “Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma’am” (Cross Rhodes) connecting! Quickly, Joe tries everything to shove B over onto his back, covering the young Champion with a hook of the far leg! Jazz drops down to count the fall;

1!

2!

BUUUZZZZ!!

There was a gasp over the Gimnasio as Jazz waves off the pinfall! Joe was livid, he had the International Whirlwind Championship right there in his grasp! He had the finish! B. Epic wasn’t moving at all! But Jazz points at the clock reading 0:00 and pointed at Nikki, Derrick, and Cruz now conferring at ringside.

Cruz Bleckley: After careful deliberation, we have to award round three to Joe Jones, on points! Round four will start in twenty seconds.

Thatcher: Joe Jones has now taken away B. Epic’s ability to win on a points decision! That’s huge!

Mynx: Right it is, now all Joe has to do is survive two more rounds and play zone defense, while B. Epic still has to figure out a way to pin the veteran Joe…

Thatcher: Things could not possibly have gotten to be a tighter squeeze than they are now.

Ding. Ding.

Almost immediately, Joe pounces onto B with a cover and a sharp hook of the near leg!

1!

2!

Kick out!

Joe hooks the far leg this time, and again frantically forces Jazz to count the pin;

1!

2!

…

…

NO! B. Epic once again kicks out!

Mynx: Wow! The pressure is on, and B. Epic knows it!

Thatcher: He’s certainly in the pressure cooker of inevitability, that’s for sure!

Joe sits up on his knees and pleads with Jazz, who insists it was still just two. Joe goes back into a lateral press, all his weight pressed down on B’s frame, and even rubs his forearm in B’s face, Jazz dropping down to count the fall once again;

1!

2!

…

…

But once again, B. Epic rolls the shoulder off the mat!

Joe sits up and slaps at the mat, almost tantrum like, this clearly had to be a screwjob or something right? No way this punk kid, he thought, could be this resilient this far into the match!

Mynx: Joe Jones is losing it right now!

That’s when his next idea hit him. He went right back to the legs he’s been working on all match, and with a pair of stomps he took B’s legs into his hands again, and again wrapped around and into the Figure Four! B fought through the pain for some time, before finally, his body just gave out and he laid back onto the mat!

1!

2!

B shot up off the mat, his eyes catching the desperation in Joe’s, before once again slumping back to the mat!

1!

2!

B shot up, this time slowly beginning to turn the hold, Joe trying to fight it but his concentration off in his desperation, he just can’t and finally, B. Epic turns the Figure Four over to reverse the pressure! Joe is screaming in agony, B is howling in exhaustion, while Jazz drops down to check on Joe. “Do you want to quit? Can you continue?” To which Joe nods his head, not wanting to give up his opportunity.

Thatcher: Think of him what you will, but respect the ability of Joe Jones in the ring.

Mynx: The man is in his late forties, and can still go as well as a man half his age…

From sheer exhaustion, B collapses to the mat, his legs still grapevined around Joe, who now slowly begins to turn the hold once again, successfully getting the Champion twisted onto his back! With B. Epic lying motionless, Jazz turns to check on him and count the fall;

1!

2!

…

…

BUUUZZZZ!!

Thatcher: Unbelievable! Joe Jones loses to the buzzer twice in a row now!

Mynx: What an intense round though, Joe has nothing to be ashamed of! Nor does B. Epic, for somehow being able to withstand all that punishment.

Joe gets up to his feet, and steps in the face of Jazz to argue the clock interrupting his pin two rounds in a row while Cruz joins Nikki and Derrick for another round of conference.

Cruz Bleckley: After careful deliberation, we have to award round four to Joe Jones, on points! The final round, round five will start in twenty seconds.

Thatcher: This has been a nailbiter, did you expect these two to go the distance?

Mynx: I’d have expected this kind of refusal to give up from dreamy Leon Tyrell and MAX Danger, but from a forty year old Joe though, it’s truly a sight to behold.

Thatcher: Really? Haven’t seen Leon around these parts in over a year, and still crushing on him? And when you’re still married?

If blushing could be heard, Nikki Mynx was the loudest in the building at that moment.

Ding. Ding.

Joe turns around from arguing with The Jazz AND RIGHT INTO “THE EPIC” (Springboard Carbon Footprint)!!

Thatcher: Where the hell did B. Epic come from!?

Joe took the kick right square on the jaw, plopping onto the mat, almost unresponsive, while an exhausted B. Epic falls with just one arm haphazardly draped over Joe’s chest!! Jazz drops down to count the fall;

1!

2!

3!

Mynx: Wait was that it?!

Cruz Bleckley: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner as a result of a pinfall, AAANNNNDDDDD STTTIIIILLLLLL INTERNATIONAL WHIRLWIND CHAMPION!! Beeeeeeeeeee!! EPPPPIIIIICCCC!!!!!

Lil Troy’s “Wanna Be a Baller” plays over the Gimnasio as Jazz drapes the International Whirlwind Championship across B. Epic’s chest, much to the delight of the loyal Monterrey faithful!

Thatcher: Unbelievable, Joe Jones looked determined this whole fight, until the fifth round when –

Mynx: When he took his eye off the prize and let his emotions take over. Given the stakes of the match I can’t say I blame him, but…

Thatcher: The absolute worst time to cave to your emotions, for sure.

With not nearly enough time to celebrate though, James Kelloggs comes out of the entrance area and makes his way to the ring, his eyes locked on B. Epic and the IWC. Shortly after he’s joined by Stephen Callaway, whom grabs Kelloggs by the shoulder and pulls him back. “No, don’t even think about sneak attacking Epic Angle,” were his words, but his eyes…you could see how they longed for the IWC once again.

An image takes over the large projection screen at the entrance area as we hear the voice of Thatcher to send us off.

Thatcher: B. Epic wrestles his ass off to withstand death and make it to Seasons Past, fighting off Joe Jones in a grueling PRIDE Rules match, only to face two people in another title defense, at just over a month away, and again in a PRIDE Rules match!

Mynx: If we get anything like we saw here tonight, I already KNOW we’re in for a treat!

Thatcher: So join us, for our debut into Tijuana, Mexico, as B. Epic defends his International Whirlwind Championship, against the Monterrey Badass James Kelloggs, and the Man Who ALWAYS Has an Angle, Stephen Callaway!

Mynx: For Derrick Thatcher, this is Nikki Mynx, saying good night everyone, and thanks for watching Whirlwind Wrestling!