Watching "Alan's Way Out There Wrestling" VBlog
Mar 18, 2020 14:43:51 GMT -8
@whirlwind_LLC likes this
Post by John on Mar 18, 2020 14:43:51 GMT -8
Somewhere in San Francisco in a tiny apartment that costs nearly 4 grand a month, a mid aged, balding, slightly out of shape, recently divorced guy comes home after working 12 hours in the office just to afford his child support payments, his alomany and his rent. He is tired. His feet hurt as he has to walk 4 blocks cuz that is as close as the bus comes to his apartment. He can’t afford an uber and the bus ride is brutal. 45 minutes one way to work. By the time he gets home, he is exhausted.
He drops his key on the counter by the door. Sets his briefcase down next to that and unties his tie. He slides that off and unbuttons a few buttons and slides his suit jacket off and hangs it off the back of one of the chairs at his kitchen table, which is just a shelf in front of a tiny ass window in his kitchen. He unbuttons his cuffs and rolls them up, opens the fridge and pulls out a beer and slaps the cap off on the side of the counter top. He takes a nice long sip of this local home brew stuff he gets on Saturdays at the farmers market. As he makes his way into the bedroom, a room that is just big enough for his full sized bed, he tugs at his pants belt, unhooking that. He sets his beer down on the dresser by the door and the thud from his pants belt comes from his pants hitting the floor. He steps out of pants, and his shoes at the same time leaving them in the doorway. He slips out his shirt and tosses that on the pile of other work shirts in the corner.
Couple of minutes he picks up his beer and takes another sip sporting gym shorts and an old Stone Cold tee shirt. He takes the two or three steps into the living room, which is an old coffee table he found on the side of the street on his 4 block walk one day and an old couch with a recliner built into it. It has a cup holding in the arm rest! He places his beer in it and kicks his feet up. Picking up his laptop, he lifts the screen open on it. A couple of seconds later, a welcome screen flashes for him, something he programmed just to make himself feel better about his life.
“Good evening Will. You sexy fucking beast. Slap them hoes!” It reads today.
Will smirks and taps on the mouse pad a couple of times and before you know it. He was on Youtube. With no TV, and broke as fuck all the time, The only entertainment Will has is watching wrestling on Youtube. Not happy with what the WWE, AEW ROH is putting out, Will is finding himself just craving wrestling action from all over the place. Like a meth head looking for their next fix, Will can’t get enough. He spends all night just deep diving the internet looking for all the wrestling he can find.
Luckily for him, other people share his passion. Some of them have dipped their toes into being the next great youtube star with a VBlog about pro wrestling. One of the lesser known channels that Will discovered is this dude in Washington sharing clips of matches and sharing wrestling news from the thousands and thousand of small indie wrestling promotions from all over the world, gathering them up like a junkie collecting soda cans to cash them in at the return center, putting them in a 15 to 20 minute video each and every day. With his parrot in it’s cage behind him making all sorts of fucking noise, this dude finds some of the most obscure wrestling out there tonight. The name of the channel is Alan’s Out There Wrestling. And today, Alan just uploaded today’s video…….
After not one but two fucking annoying ads (But that is how Alan gets paid so.) Alan’s freshly shaved head fills the screen. A mic in front of him, cans over his ears to give off the podcast vibe. His red yellow and white parrot is over his right shoulder looking like he is ready to murder someone, and the wall around the cage is filled with old TNA posters, AJ Styles shirts, a signed EC3 and Dixie Carter poster and a X division championship belt, Alan with his cheesey porn stach smiles and waves.
“Hey all! You buddy Alan here and here on today’s Alan’s Out There Wrestling show, we’re going to go south of the border and see what one of the hottest and more interesting wrestling promotions in all of Mexico is doing. Yes, Today is all about WhirlWind Wrestling! Lace up them boots and hold on, cuz today’s show is going off the chain!”
A quick intro video with random wrestling clips play as a muffled and hacked up Kid Rock’s Welcome to the Party plays, but not too long to get flagged under youtube’s copyright policy. At the end of the video package, WhirlWind Wrestling’s logo is shown.
“Alright! Let’s get right into this! In video 245 I broke down WhirlWind’s last show in which the unthinkable happened! Yes! The Bad Ass James Kelloggs won the International WhirlWind championship! If you have been a long time viewer of this channel, you will know that I am a long time fan of the Bad Ass when he debuted in the IWA some many years ago! This guy, I tell you! Until now, he has just never been able to showcase what he can do in the ring and on the mic. Yes, he has a small run as the IWA Prestige champion, a run that lasted 3 months which, for a guy his size, in the IWA at that time, is impressive. But until now, let’s face it, The Bad Ass One has bounced around the indies, kinda got back on the national picture in DarcPro a couple years back, but he has been just trending water, but! Boy! The Bad Ass One is back! He is the champ! The face of the company! And it couldn’t be better! If you missed him winning the title, please, go back and watch it! You won’t be disappointed! I promise you that! The Bad Ass is dirty then ever. Hornier than ever! Mouthier than ever. It is great! I can’t wait to see what he does with the belt, and if this press release shortly after winning the title is any indication, we are in store for one hell of a ride!”
Cut from Alan and his bird to the official WW press release.
For immediate release:
WhirlWind Wrestling LLC, along with Bad Ass Inc, is proud to announce the formation of The International Council, along with the hiring of Katherine Bush, COO of Bad Ass Inc. Mrs. Katherine Bush has a rich background in branding and promotions, heading up several projects for several big name corporations. Mrs Bush has carved out quite a reputation for being the best in her field, a true go getter. Mrs. Bush is also a stickler for the rules and making sure that there is a even playing field.
Newly crowned International WhirlWind Champion, the Bad Ass James Kelloggs was quoted as the press conference:
"Now that I am your truly great and the real International Champion, the line of assholes who will all want a shot at my belt will be vast. Several jerkoffs who all think they have what it takes to defeat me and take my belt away from me will know no limit. Therefore, I have formed the International Council to weed out the pretenders from those who think they have a legit claim to my title. Katie Bush will oversee this process and hold WhirlWind Wrestling's feet to the fire to make sure they won't try to screw me over. There will not be a Montreal ScrewJob on my watch! Katie Bush will dictate who gets a shot at my belt, and who will be left holding their tiny little pecker in their hands. As COO of Bad Ass Inc, she speaks for me, and this title! Trust me when I say this. Katie! She's a real bitch. Fucking bitch refused to have sex with me, while that has never happened to me before I meet her, I have much respect for that god damn bitch and truth be told, that is what sealed the deal. If she can resist temptation, keep her hands off of me and my giant Championship encrusted cock, then she is the perfect bitch for the job."
Mrs Katherine Bush was not taking questions. She said that she has to get to work and plan a proper celebration for the "First and only truly Great and Real International Champion."
Cut back to Alan
And his bird, clinging to the front of the cage, where I think he is trying to show off his little parrot balls. Kinda creepy…..
“Oh man! Champion for a day and he has hired Katherine Bush to handle the champs business! You just know somewhere, Pendragon is pissed. He is the number one contender to that title and James has already thrown a roadblock in his way! Anyways, onto Chain Lighting! Again, if you missed this event, go watch it! This was the coming out party for the new champ! The Bad Ass! James Kelloggs! Like! Check this out!”
Chain Lightning hits the airwaves to much fanfare as the camera are trained on an outside shot of the Gimnasio Nuevo Leon!
Thatcher: “HELLO WRESTLING FANS!”
Mynx: “AND WELCOME TO CHAIN LIGHTNING 2020!”
With the doors open to the Gimnasio Nuevo Leon in Monterrey Mexico for the first show of 2020 for WhirlWind Wrestling! Chain Lightning! The WW faithful are slowly filing inside for the show with the camera crew capturing as many happy and excited fans as they can! These die hard fans, once inside they are greeted with a sight that you just have to see to truly feel what is in store for tonight’s action packed show! The cameras pans from the fans, to inside the concourse.
In the concourse is a giant “bronze” statue, as tall as allowed by the rafters of the Bad Ass James Kelloggs holding the International WW title above his head after his huge victory at Seasons Past when he defeated B Epic and Calloway. Looking like a greek god with the fitness of 1000s of hours in the gym, the belt held above his head, lite up with as many gold LEDS as they could fit on the belt, highlighting and showcasing the highest honor you can hold in WhirlWind Wrestling, the fans are taken back, stunned and in awe for this moment erected to a great wrestler. Selfies and pictures will be lighting up social media in a heartbeat.
A banner is also on display, to the left of the “bronze” statue. The banner is hung over a giant cake, in which workers have started to cut little pieces of it and hand it out to anyone and everyone who wants a piece. The cake is in the shape of the International Championship while the banner reads:
To the right of “bronze” statue is a huge video screen, as big as one would allow in the space provided. It is playing the ending of the match in which James hit the Bad Ass Bomb on Calloway, rolling him over onto his back, with some editing done to spice in a huge roar from the crowd on hand, and then James pinning the former champion to gain the victory and win the International Championship. Doves are CGI’d in flying across the screen as James gets his hand raised in victory as Kid Rock’s American Bad Ass then plays. In Spanish, a female voice says:
“Fanáticos de WhirlWind Wrestling, eres testigo del evento más grande en la rica historia de esta compañía, pero en el deporte cuando The Bad Ass James Kelloggs capturó no solo el Campeonato Internacional, los corazones y las mentes de millones de personas en todo el mundo. ¡Únase a nosotros aquí esta noche mientras coronamos a WhirlWind Wrestling como el primer Campeón Internacional Realmente Genial!”
(Translated: WhirlWind Wrestling fans, you witness the single greatest event in the rich history of this company, but in the sport when The Bad Ass James Kelloggs captured not only the International Championship, the hearts and minds of millions around the globe. Please join us here tonight as we crown WhirlWind Wrestling first Truly Great and Real International Champion!)
The camera moves past this towards the opening to the floor where some cheering is going on. Down in the ring, all around the ring, up the aisle leading towards the back are cheerleaders, the official Bad Ass Cheerleaders, and they are cheering and getting the fans filing in heading towards their seats all jazzed up for tonight’s show, as the chant:
Thatcher: “As you can see folks, tonight is going to be special. New Champion! New number one contender!”
Mynx: “New faces! New matches!”
Thatcher: “From the same company that made 2019 great! This is WhirlWind Wrestling and this is CHAIN LIGHTNING!”
Fade back to Alan and his bird, showing off it’s butthole.
“Oh man! Cake! A huge statue! Cheerleaders! What a way to kick off the show! Then! Just a little later, we get our first taste of Katherine Bush! COO of Bad Ass Inc! Check it out!”
Cut to outside of the Gimnasio Nuevo Leon in the back where the stars of WW enter and exit the building. A very attractive brunette in a tight fitting skirt, a skirt that hugs every curve of her backside, is on her phone and is rather pissed. Whoever she is on the phone with, is getting an ear full.
“Listen! We have a deal! You want the Truly Real International Champion here tonight, then you BEST hold up your end of the rider and get the demands correct! Do I make myself clear? No! I said just pink starburst! No Bad Ass! Got it! GOOD! And find someone to steam clean his room! It stinks to high heaven in there! Thank you.”
Boss lady turns around and the cameraman is like right up on her. She holds her hand up and backs up.
“Whoah! How about getting that out of my face!”
“Sorry!”
“You better be! I don’t have time for the media right now! I’m busy! The Champ is on his way and I told them that there better be a red carpet rolled out for the only champion in pro wrestling that matters! The Bad Ass James Kelloggs only walks on red carpets! Do I make myself clear? So run along, and get someone to get my carpet laid out! Or I swear to god! I will make a call and have that limo turn right around! I’m Katherine Bush, COO of Bad Ass inc, Head of the International Council! What I say! Goes! Now run along! Get me my carpet!”
“Yes! Sorry! I will go get someone! Sorry!” The camera man says before the screen is filled with a shot of concrete and his worn out Vans running towards the building.
Cut back to Alan taking a sip of Monster energy drink.
“What a bitch? Am I right? That being said, I am in love with her! I would marry her right now. What the boss lady wants, I’m pretty sure the Boss lady gets! Now, they teased the new champion arriving throughout the night. Deep, Thatcher and Mynx talked about it all night with updates all night long. They did a good job of building up the excitement, especially when, well! Just watch!”
Kid Rock’s American Bad Ass plays inside the Gimnasio Nuevo León.
Thatcher: “Is it time? Is he here?”
Mynx: “About time! Wait… hold on..”
Thatcher: “That’s not our new International Champion?”
The boos very quickly turns to cheers as the Bad Ass Cheerleaders run down to ringside, throwing t shirts, hats and other kinds of championship merch into the stands. A couple of the cheerleaders even has a t shirt cannon! Everyone is happy, also showing a lot of skin helps. While the Bad Ass Cheerleaders have fun throwing the merch to eager fans wanting a freebie, Katerine Bush, COO of BadAss Inc and the head of the International Council walks out sporting a big smile and a sexy black dress, that gets a bunch of catcalls and whistles.
Thatcher: “That’s Katherine Bush, who was hired by James Kelloggs and WhirlWind Wrestling shortly after Season past.”
Mynx: “I don’t like her.”
Thatcher: “She seems ...yeah. Bossy.”
Mynx: “That was not the word I was thinking of.”
As the music fades, Katherine smiles and waves.
Katherine: “Hello! I just wanted to take a moment and come out here and formally introduce myself! I’m Katherine Bush! COO of Bad Ass Inc, and head of the International Council! It is my job to make sure that only those competitors who have met the criteria, get a shot at the only championship in all of pro wrestling that matters. Not everyone can get a shot at the International Championship and the current title holder, Pro Wrestling only truly real International Champion, The Bad Ass! James Kelloggs!”
This is greeted by boos
Katherine: “As the head of the International Council, only I can give a would be opponent the blessing, the honor of facing WhirlWind Wrestling’s first and only really true International Champion, The Bad Ass! James Kelloggs! As James himself once said, I’m not what’s for breakfast anymore bitches! Your champion will be here soon! When he arrives, he will address the elephant in the room. Will The BadAss James Kelloggs pick Truth or Dare! Only he knows! And then, the Championship celebration will begin! In the meantime! Please enjoy this FREE MERCH! Sit tight, the wait is almost over with! I promise! This will be a night that none of you will forget!”
Kid Rock’s American Bad Ass begins to play again and more Bad Ass Cheerleaders roll a cart of goodies out for everyone, and that gets a cheap pop!
And cut back to Alan and his bird, who has his face pressed up to the cage trying to push its head through it. Pretty sure it needs help.
“Now let’s take a break from the first Truly International Champion for a minute or two because there were other things that went down at Chain Lighting 2020! Yes, the whole night wasn’t the Bad Ass show, although, it kinda was. Like the big match between my hero, your hero, everyone’s superhero! Bester! He took on Sutton who showed up at the end of last year and long and behold, Sutton has had a bone to pick for Bester for a long time. Going all the way back to the IWA when Bester made his pro wrestling debut. Nanook and Joe are still at each other’s throat and this is just taking this up a notch! Now, I can’t show you the whole match, but what I can tell you is the first five, ten minutes of this match. A tease, cuz, I am such a tease!”
The Lacs’ Outlaw in Me plays as Sutton slowly strolls out from the back to a chorus of boos from the WW faithful inside the Gimnasio Nuevo Leon. Joe Jones comes out behind him in a nice suit and stands next to his former tag team partner.
Thatcher: Here we go folks!
Deep: The match everyone has been waiting on for a long time. Time to put up or shut up for Sutton.
The rings a couple of times as Sutton and Joe slowly make their way down to the ring.
Cruz Bleckley: This contest is scheduled for 1 fall with a 20 minute time limit! Making his way to the ring at this time, being accompanied by his agent, Double J Joe Jones. He is SUTTON!
Sutton steps over the top rope and into the ring without even acknowledging the crowd, who is busy giving him a put of crap.
Thatcher: Sutton isn’t even phased by the reaction he is getting.
Deep: Nor should he be. He is only here for 2 things. Beating up Bester and championship gold. Being the fan favorite wasn’t on his list of things to do.
Cruz Bleckley: And his opponent!
I’m a superhero blares over the PA system and is followed by a huge pop of the crowd! Especially from the under 10 demo. Bester comes running out from the back, holding his mask in his hand to a huge pop! Nanook isn’t too far behind him by the time Bester runs down the aisle as fast as he can, slapping as many little hands as he can along the way.
Cruz Bleckley: He is your superhero! This is Orgulloso Guardián Del Arcoiris!
Thatcher: It is always great to have OGDA on the show! It is always a treat!
While Bester gets a few more high fives and hugs in from the kiddies at ring side, Sutton is sitting in the corner without a care in the world, bringing his spit cup up to his lips from time to time. Nanook and Joe start jawboning at ringside, pointing, mocking each other, the whole nine yards.
Deep: So Bester finally gets in the ring. So now he puts his mask on?
Thatcher: Yes. Once he slides the mask over his head, he gains the magical powers of the mask and transforms from Bester to OGDA.
The Jazz asks Sutton if he is good. Sutton doesn’t even respond, just spits in his cup and watched the “Bald headed special needs reject” slide his mask on. Across the ring, Bester holds up the mask for all to see. For some reason, he is cheered as he then slides the mask over his bald head and then acts like he has been hit by a bolt of lightning thus transforming him into OGDA!
Thatcher: It’s complete! OGDA is here to do battle!
Deep: That was it?
Thatcher: Well, all he did was put a mask on.
Deep: I see that.
OGDA puffs his chest out and takes a couple of steps towards the center of the ring, placing his fists on his hips and staring down Sutton. The Jazz asks if OGDA is good to go, OGDA nods! The Jazz calls for the bell!
Thatcher: Here we go!
Deep: uhmm….Sutton doesn’t look ready.
Sutton is still sitting in the corner, slowly spitting in his spit cup. The Jazz leans towards him and tells him, “Let’s go! Time to fight!” Sutton sighs. OGDA not moving, the kiddies still cheering him on. Sutton sets his spit cup down on the mat under the turnbuckle, reaches up snagging the top rope and lifts himself to his feet. The Jazz gives the command for them to start fighting. Sutton takes a couple of steps towards OGDA.
Thatcher: I wonder what is going through Sutton’s mind? This is a match he has waited a long time for.
Deep: Probably a higher spot on the card?
Sutton looks OGDA up and down. He slowly shakes his head and looks at the Jazz, who is standing slightly bent over with his hands on his knees.
Sutton then tells the Jazz: “Is the mask really necessary?”
Thatcher: What? What kind of question is that?
Deep: A fair one. We all know who is under the mask.
Thatcher: That is not the point. The point of the mask…
Deep: Yeah, no one cares.
The Jazz just ignores the question, gives the command for them to fight. Sutton looks at OGDA. “Come on stupid! Remove the mask!” Sutton says.
This is greeted by boos. OGDA crosses his arms and shakes his head no. Sutton looks at Jazz again. “Tell the dolt to remove the mask! I wanted to fight Bester, not this bullshit!” Which is followed by more boos. OGDA shakes his head no.
Thatcher: Are we really doing this?
Sutton then turns his attention to The Jazz. “I said I wanted Bester! Not this crap! TELL HIM TO REMOVE THE MASK!” Sutton barks, demanding.
Deep: He has a point.
Thatcher: Sutton is just trying to get in OGDA’s mind.
The Jazz says “No! Come on Sutton! Time to fight!” to which Sutton responds with “YEAH! BESTER!” That is when OGDA shoves Sutton, spinning him around towards him, to a huge roar from the crowd, and it’s OGDA who puts his fists up!
Thatcher: Something tells me that OGDA is ready to go!
Deep: No one cares about OGDA! The match is Sutton versus Bester!
Sutton shakes his head, turns his attention back to the Jazz. “Listen here Ref!” Sutton says loudly, which is met with boos. “I ain’t fightin dis masked reject!”
“The match has begun! Time to fight!” The Jazz says. Sutton raises his hand, and that is when OGDA shoves Sutton again, this time catching Sutton with a closed fist to the temple to a huge pop from the crowd! Sutton covers his up and stumbles back towards the corner where his spit cup is at. Joe quickly is up on the aprun to check on his client.
Thatcher: Yeah!
Deep: I believe that was an illegal punch.
Nanook is now screaming at the Jazz to get Joe out of there. OGDA stands ready for a fight in the middle of the ring, holding his fists up. The Jazz tells Nanook “I’ve got it!” then turns his attention towards Sutton and Joe.
Thatcher: So The Jazz is getting this sorted. Hopefully folks we’ll have an honest wrestling match for you here tonight. Once Sutton stops nitpicking and grows a set.
Deep: He prepared for Bester all month long, not this OGDA guy. He’s not ready.
Thatcher: I’m sure he’ll be just fine.
Joe and Sutton have a quick meeting, Joe pats Sutton on the back and climbs down from the aprun. Sutton snaps his head side to side as he turns towards OGDA. The Jazz then tells Sutton that “The clock is running, it’s time to get it on!” “Yeah yeah yeah!” is Sutton's response. He squares up across from OGDA.
Thatcher: Finally! We’re about to get this match started.
Deep: No need to rush things Derrick.
Thatcher: Well this match does have a 20 minute time limit and we’ve used five minutes already.
Deep: Sutton will only need a minute to beat OGDA.
Thatcher: Then he needs to get going with it then.
Sutton and OGDA are about to lock up when Sutton backs off, holding up his hand signalling for OGDA to wait a sec. The crowd boos, is growing restless. Sutton holds his up his index finger. OGDA lowers his hands, looks at the Jazz as if telling him “Come on Ref!” That is when Sutton scoops his chew out of lip with his finger quickly, and flicks his wet soggy mass of chew at OGDA! It sticks to his mask!
The crowd is not pleased by this! The Jazz looks like he is about to hurl.
Thatcher: GROSS!
Deep: What is on his mask? Where did that come from?
OGDA reaches up with his bare hand and touches the mass of chew stuck to his forehead, only to have Sutton smash him with a huge left in the head!
Thatcher: OH COME ON!
Sutton doesn’t back off, strikes with several lefts, a kick and before you know it, he has OGDA back up against the ropes! The Jazz is holding his stomach and is dry heaving near the ropes himself. Nanook is losing his mind on the outside of the ring, yelling at The Jazz! Sutton with a hard chop across OGDA’s chest! Followed by a right to his head! Sutton sends OGDA into the ropes, and connects with a running knee to the gut! Sutton takes OGDA’s hand, twists his arm, sticks his big size 15 boot to the side of OGDA’s head and drops to the mat, pulling OGDA’s head into his boot! This drops OGDA on the mat holding his head. Sutton spins on his back towards OGDA, rolls onto his knees and connects with several shots to the back of the head on OGDA, all the while, The Jazz is leaning through the ropes, trying not to throw up.
Sutton pins OGDA’s shoulders down, kicks his legs out from under him, up in the air and drives his knees into OGDA’s ribs! Nanook has now moved to where The Jazz is, who is holding his gut, his face turning a shade of green. Joe has quietly and quickly moves to the other side of the ring.
Thatcher: The Jazz needs to get a hold of himself or we better get another referee out here, something.
Sutton plants his knee in the middle of OGDA’s back, to a chorus of boos that is getting louder. Then Sutton takes ahold of the mask, and forces OGDA’s head backwards. Sutton then reaches around with a forearm along side OGDA’s face! He then drapes OGDA’s arms over his knees and locks in a camel clutch on OGDA!
Deep: Looks like Sutton is going to end this one early!
Thatcher: What is Joe doing?
Joe quickly climbs in the ring, while The Jazz’s back is turned and Nanook’s face is turning several shades of red as he is yelling at him, and sprints across the ring, leaps and connects with a drop kick to the side of the exposed face of OGDA! Sutton drops him, OGDA falls face first on the mat as Joe slides out of the ring to quickly run around the ring towards the Jazz as Sutton jumps and lands a double foot stomp on OGDA’s back! Then he hooks his arms and rolls him onto his back for the pin! Joe yells and points at the pin at the Jazz, who snaps around, and dives for the mat with his hand ready to smack the canvas! Nanook is losing his mind.
1!
2!
OGDA kicks out to the approval of the WW faithful!
Thatcher: That was close! Whew boy, was that close.
Deep: I had 3, that ref is slow.
Joe barks at the Jazz as Sutton sits next to OGDA who is favoring his back. The Jazz tells Joe he’s got it! Sutton slides up closer to OGDA, locks OGDA’s one arm between his legs and using both hands, locks them under OGDA’s chin and pulls back!
Thatcher: Oh this isn’t good for OGDA!
Deep: Sutton! The master of 1002 holds!
The video stops playing as Willy presses pause. He sets his laptop on the couch next to him, kicks the footrest in on his reclining couch and gets up, grunting and holding his lower back. You see, Willy has a problem. It is a huge problem. His beer bottle is empty! A couple minutes later Willy returns with a full beer bottle. He sits down, kicks his feet back up in the air, takes a sip of some good microbrew shit and sets the laptop down on his lap. He double taps and of course, it goes to a youtube ad……
In a poorly light warehouse somewhere in America is a jeep, JK, lifted 6 inches, big old swampers on it. Roll bar, bright ass led lights, suspension seats and sitting in that driver’s seat is a smoking hot redhead in a red lacy bra, very short cut off jeans where the thin hip hugging band of her red panties peak over her Daisy duke shorts. She grips the steering wheel and is pushing her girls together in the process. A fan off camera is blowing her long red hair. She pouts her red lips and gives the camera a wink.
“I just love to go off road in my custom Jeep. It just….” This sexy jewel says and it doesn’t take long to remember just who she is, and who she is, is Flashback 2!
“Turns me on. You know what else….” FB2 says before pausing, squeezing the girls together just a touch more and giving a seductive look at the camera.
“Turns me on? Voting. Hmmm. There is nothing hotter than a guy who rocks the vote. The primaries are going on and it’s time to see who will run against Trump this November. Time is running out to register and let your voice be heard. It’ll be a real shame if you…” FB2 says before bitting her bottom lip, glancing down at the girls that are just about to pop out of her bra. How did this be past the YouTube censors is surprising.
“If you pulled out at the last second. I hate to be disappointed. Don’t disappoint me.”
Off camera 7800 yells “DILLY DILLY!” which is followed by 2600 saying “7800!” in his stern, I’m mad at you dad voice.
Cut back to Alan’s room with no sign of his parrot. Did it get out? Where is he? Are we in danger?
“As you can see Joe and Sutton did not play nice throughout this match. Nanook even got involved at one point and let me tell you, if you have seen Nanook come off the top rope with a frog splash, you simply haven’t lived! This match broke down because Joe kept getting shots in on Bester when Jazz the ref wasn’t watching. Sutton even as far to slap one of Bester’s Shining stars! That is when Nanook got involved and Jazz threw this match out! A all out brawl broke out. Bester and Joe ended up on the outside of the ring going at, Nanook and Sutton were on the inside. Nanook ended up hitting a frog splash on the big old redneck from Hickory North Carolina and for a guy his size, Sutton will be feeling that for a while. Then Nanook, with the crowd cheering him on, went for a dive on Joe on the outside, but Joe pulled Bester into Nanook and Nanook took out Bester! Then Joe hit one of the sickest light out sweet chin music kicks I have seen in a long time on his former manager and friend Nanook, knocking him out cold! I’m telling you, just for that kick alone, you really need to go watch this match! I’m sure this isn’t the last we have seen of these four and who knows what will happen next month! This feud is far from over.”
Then Alan’s parrot slowly pokes his head over Alan’s right shoulder, from inside his cage thank god.
“Now, as promised, The newly crowned WhirlWind International champion was advertised to be here tonight, but as you will see next, I am starting to question that and I’m not sure if I can live with myself if I don’t get to see the Bad Ass one!”
Backstage of the Gimnasio Nuevo León, Katherine Bush is on her phone, listening and nodding.
KB: “Okay. Very well then. Yes sir. Everything is in place. Cheerleaders, cake, red carpet, everything is as it should be for someone of your stature.”
Nikkie slowly walks up to Katherine with a mic in hand.
KB: “Everyone can’t wait for you to arrive. There is a buzz in the air. You will be welcomed with open arms. Very well sir. I will see you in a few minutes.”
Katherine ends the call and that is when she notices Nikkie.
KB: “Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.”
Nikkie: “Katie?”
KB: “Uhm! It’s Katherine Bush! COO of Bad Ass Inc, head of the International Council! Show some respect.”
Nikkie: “Sorry. Katherine. Was you just talking to James?”
KB: “Uhm! It’s Mr. International Champion James Kelloggs! And yes! I was speaking to him.”
Nikkie: “So he’s on the way?”
KB: “Yes, the only champion that matters in all of Pro Wrestling, the Truly Real International Champion is on his way as we speak. Now if you excuse…”
Nikkie: “I hate to pry, but, do you know if James Kelloggs is going to pick Truth or Dare?”
KB: “Much like everyone else in this company, and everyone around the world, you will just have to wait and see what Mr. Kelloggs picks.”
Nikkie: “Well, it’s just that James Kelloggs is scheduled to defend the International championship next month at Biorhythm….”
KB: “Excuse me?”
Nikkie: “Sorry?”
KB: “Uhm! No one cleared that with me if it is okay to make a title match at, what is the name of this event? Biorhythm? I can tell you right now! That match won’t be happening! That wasn’t cleared with the International Council!”
Nikkie: “Okay? But it’s scheduled to be a scramble match for the…”
KB: “No it’s not bitch! Out of my way! I have to take care of this!”
Katherine pushes her way past Nikkie and starts dialing a number on her phone. Nikkie is left standing there slightly confused.
NIkkie: “He also is scheduled to defend the title against Pendragon too. Bitch!”
Back to Alan and his bord screaming it’s head off for no reason whatsoever other than to be a complete dick.
“Oh you have to love it when someone gets their panties in a bunch! No? Well okay then. The question that begs to be asked though is will the new champion show up? Only time will tell I guess. I know this though, Katherine Bush is most definitely calling the shots when it comes to that title. If I was Pendragon, I would be a little worried about getting that shot at that belt that he rightfully earned and quite honestly, deserves. Will hear more about this later in the night but first, how about a flashback?”
On the shore of Lake Christine at the Kinko Birch Resort and Campsite in a not really well heated shed full of tools and junk that has been converted to a locker room for tonight’s wrestling show on the ice, under the big tent where a battle royal will be taking place. Where the winner of this battle royal will earn a trip to Wrestlemania 2 and a spot in the battle royal!
Live on Pay Per View!
This is the big time. A shot that one Davey Hart Bushelbubby does not intend on losing.
Davey Hart strolls into the makeshift locker room with his NIke gym bag over his shoulder, and his walkman on his hip, rocking Crew’s Shout at the devil. He bobs his head, air drums and spins on his heels as he picks his spot to call his spot. He blobs his gym back down on the chair in front of an old beat up locker and takes his walkman and sets it down on the top shelf in the locker leaving his headphones on. It’s a good jam and he can’t but jam the F out to it!
As Davey starts to unbutton his shirt the song he is listening to ends, there is a pause in the tunes. He then notices that it got quiet in the locker room. When he showed up, there were like 30 plus guys in there, busting balls, talking shit, smoking a joint, drinking a beer. But it got real quiet. Davey Hart glances over his shoulder wondering what gives and that is when he spots who just walked into the locker room. Davey Hart’s mouth drops to the floor. He slowly slides the headphones off his head and stares at the door to this shed along with the other 30 plus dudes.
Standing in the doorway, ducking his head to get through the doorway is the biggest, tallest guy Davey Hart Bushelbubby has ever seen in his entire life. Suddenly the odds of winning that battle royal and going onto Wrestlemania 2 just shrank as the ninth wonder of the world steps into the locker room. That’s correct, to win the battle royal, Davey Hart has to beat Andre the Giant.
DHB “Mother….”
Cut back to Alan’s room in his apartment with his bird chewing at the cage. WTF is wrong with his bird?
“Can you imagine that? Here you are getting ready to punch your ticket to Wrestlemania 2 and all you have to do is win this battle royal and in walks Andre the Giant! Yeah right! Like, good luck buddy! We’ll see how that went for Davey on my next show but right now, Let’s go back to Chain Lightning 2020 and see if the new champion, the Bad Ass James Kelloggs arrived or not!”
Thatcher: “What a night tonight has been! Great action! The fans are just loving the first event of 2020! Plus! Our newly crowned champion James Kelloggs will be here later tonight folks!”
Mynx: “He better hurry up! We’re almost out of time.”
Thatcher: “Wait! Hold on! Why is Katherine Bush walking towards the ring?”
No music, no fanfare, Katherine Bush makes a b-line down to the ring. Of course there are the cat calls and whistling from the WW die hard fans. She flicks her long hair over his shoulder as she steps under the middle rope and into the ring.
Thatcher: “She looks like a lady on a mission.”
Mynx: “Have I told you, I really don’t like her.”
Thatcher: “You might have mentioned that once or twice tonight.”
Mynx: “Yeah, well f….”
Katherine Bush: “Thanks to piss poor managment that runs WhirlWind Wrestling, a group of morons who could fuck up a wet dream! Tonight’s huge championship celebration planned for tonight has been canceled!”
Thatcher: “What? Why?”
Mynx: “These fans are not happy.”
This announcement is greeted by boos.
Katherine Bush: “You should boo! You should be upset! You should also demand refunds! Your Truly Real International Champion won’t be here tonight as a direct result of a few misguided gentlemen, a small group of power hungry, money grabbing sloths who took it upon themselves to book a match for Biorhythm, in which god knows who will be handed a shot at Pro Wrestling’s only championship that matters! A match that is nothing but a clear cash grab! A match to pat themselves on the back and puff their chests out so they can say in some stupid interview in the dirt sheet, Look at me! Look at what WE did! As head of the International Council! I am invoking my veto powers and vetoing this, this, scramble match! Seriously! Who books scramble matches in 2020? Like! That is cra cra!”
A “BULLSHIT” chant breaks out.
Katherine Bush: “I completely agree! That match is bullshit!”
The WW faithful quickly change gears, start up the old stand by, “ASSHOLE!” chant.
Katherine Bush: “I’m so happy you people aren’t dumb! Those in charge are assholes! I will not allow them to soil The Bad Ass Era will pointless, silly matches that lack a legit challenger!”
Not to be out done, the WW faithful quickly start a “YOU ARE DUMB!” chant.
Katherine Bush: “Yes! Tell them! Louder!”
The WW faithful break out a “NO! YOU’RE DUMB” chant. To which Katherine smiles and laughs a little.
Katherine Bush: “Please! I went to Harvard! All of you combined don’t have the IQ that I have! Much like that little boys who run this company, all of you are just as stupid as them!”
After some boos, a “WE WANT PENDRAGON!” chant breaks out, getting louder and louder. Katherine Bush just shakes her head and rolls her eyes.
Katherine Bush: “Speaking of Pendragon!”
The WW faithful chant louder and louder hoping to drown her out.
Katherine Bush: “Excuse me! The head bitch in charge is speaking!”
Mynx: “At least she admits she’s a raging bitch.”
The WW Faithful quickly boo Katherine.
Katherine Bush: “As I was saying before you Boomers rudely interrupted me!”
Booes get louder.
Katherine Bush: “I’m not sure what qualifications this Pendragon thinks he has earned, to garner a shot at the Truly Real International Championship! But he is sadly mistaken if he thinks at Seismic Assault he is getting the honor of being in the same ring as the Bad Ass One! The International Council, to which I am the head of, just had a meeting backstage and we agreed, with a seven to nil vote, that Pendragon is not the first person who will get a shot at the International Championship! Pendragon hasn’t EARNED such an honor!”
This news is greeted by boos. The WW faithful just don’t like Mrs. Bush.
Katherine Bush: “Now hold on! Hold on! I understand that all you show up to these shows with only one wish! There is only one thing that brings you to this building and to these shows, and that is to bare witness to a truly great man, a superior fighter in this sport, in this industry, The only champion in all of pro wrestling that matters, and the first and only Truly Real International Champion, The Bad Ass One, James Kelloggs.”
A “NO!” chants quickly pops up.
Katherine Bush: “Oh don’t lie! You know it’s true! Every single one of you has his poster above your bed. All you ladies secretly have a crush on him and wish you could spend just one night with him!”
Katherine Bush: “It’s okay! It’ll be our little secret ladies! I won’t tell a soul! But!”
Katherine shrugs and is about to drop a bitter truth on this crowd.
Katherine Bush: “Not all of you, much like Pendragon, stack up even to able to get a ride on the Bad Ass Train. Some of you, okay, most of you. Sorry, I lied, All of you! You’re not worth it for him to take you to pound town! But! Don’t worry!”
Katherine tries to say over the boos.
Katherine Bush: “I know! The truth hurts! Which is probably why Pendragon wears a mask, to hide his tears. The International Council will have a meeting and at Biorhythm, we will announce just who The Bad Ass One will face at Seismic Assault! Most likely in a non title match as you know, I just covered this, no one has really earned a shot at the International Championship!”
That free merch that handed out earlier in the night, is now finding its way into the ring. Katherine Bush shrugs and mouths “Sorry! I know the truth hurts” as she exits the ring, dodging wadded up shirts and foam fingers.
Thatcher: “Well! That was quite the turn of events!”
Mynx: “Nothing like James dodging everyone. I’m sure Pendragon won’t take this lying down.”
Fade back to Alan’s apartment with his bird banging it’s head on the side of the cage and what sounds like laughter.
“Well I guess our new champion has decided to not show up. Can you blame him? What was that? No you can’t. Oh well. That is all for Chain Lightning and that is all for this video. Be sure to like, subscribe and ring the bell so you get an alert for my next video, where I will follow the newly crown International Champion James Kelloggs as he kicks off a world tour. Plus, We will catch up with Bester as he dabbles in becoming a male stripper? Oh man, I don’t know about that. And we will see if Davey Hart Bushelbubby punches his ticket to Wrestlemania 2! I’m Alan, and this is my Out There Wrestling Video! Bye!”
Fade out.
He drops his key on the counter by the door. Sets his briefcase down next to that and unties his tie. He slides that off and unbuttons a few buttons and slides his suit jacket off and hangs it off the back of one of the chairs at his kitchen table, which is just a shelf in front of a tiny ass window in his kitchen. He unbuttons his cuffs and rolls them up, opens the fridge and pulls out a beer and slaps the cap off on the side of the counter top. He takes a nice long sip of this local home brew stuff he gets on Saturdays at the farmers market. As he makes his way into the bedroom, a room that is just big enough for his full sized bed, he tugs at his pants belt, unhooking that. He sets his beer down on the dresser by the door and the thud from his pants belt comes from his pants hitting the floor. He steps out of pants, and his shoes at the same time leaving them in the doorway. He slips out his shirt and tosses that on the pile of other work shirts in the corner.
Couple of minutes he picks up his beer and takes another sip sporting gym shorts and an old Stone Cold tee shirt. He takes the two or three steps into the living room, which is an old coffee table he found on the side of the street on his 4 block walk one day and an old couch with a recliner built into it. It has a cup holding in the arm rest! He places his beer in it and kicks his feet up. Picking up his laptop, he lifts the screen open on it. A couple of seconds later, a welcome screen flashes for him, something he programmed just to make himself feel better about his life.
“Good evening Will. You sexy fucking beast. Slap them hoes!” It reads today.
Will smirks and taps on the mouse pad a couple of times and before you know it. He was on Youtube. With no TV, and broke as fuck all the time, The only entertainment Will has is watching wrestling on Youtube. Not happy with what the WWE, AEW ROH is putting out, Will is finding himself just craving wrestling action from all over the place. Like a meth head looking for their next fix, Will can’t get enough. He spends all night just deep diving the internet looking for all the wrestling he can find.
Luckily for him, other people share his passion. Some of them have dipped their toes into being the next great youtube star with a VBlog about pro wrestling. One of the lesser known channels that Will discovered is this dude in Washington sharing clips of matches and sharing wrestling news from the thousands and thousand of small indie wrestling promotions from all over the world, gathering them up like a junkie collecting soda cans to cash them in at the return center, putting them in a 15 to 20 minute video each and every day. With his parrot in it’s cage behind him making all sorts of fucking noise, this dude finds some of the most obscure wrestling out there tonight. The name of the channel is Alan’s Out There Wrestling. And today, Alan just uploaded today’s video…….
After not one but two fucking annoying ads (But that is how Alan gets paid so.) Alan’s freshly shaved head fills the screen. A mic in front of him, cans over his ears to give off the podcast vibe. His red yellow and white parrot is over his right shoulder looking like he is ready to murder someone, and the wall around the cage is filled with old TNA posters, AJ Styles shirts, a signed EC3 and Dixie Carter poster and a X division championship belt, Alan with his cheesey porn stach smiles and waves.
“Hey all! You buddy Alan here and here on today’s Alan’s Out There Wrestling show, we’re going to go south of the border and see what one of the hottest and more interesting wrestling promotions in all of Mexico is doing. Yes, Today is all about WhirlWind Wrestling! Lace up them boots and hold on, cuz today’s show is going off the chain!”
A quick intro video with random wrestling clips play as a muffled and hacked up Kid Rock’s Welcome to the Party plays, but not too long to get flagged under youtube’s copyright policy. At the end of the video package, WhirlWind Wrestling’s logo is shown.
“Alright! Let’s get right into this! In video 245 I broke down WhirlWind’s last show in which the unthinkable happened! Yes! The Bad Ass James Kelloggs won the International WhirlWind championship! If you have been a long time viewer of this channel, you will know that I am a long time fan of the Bad Ass when he debuted in the IWA some many years ago! This guy, I tell you! Until now, he has just never been able to showcase what he can do in the ring and on the mic. Yes, he has a small run as the IWA Prestige champion, a run that lasted 3 months which, for a guy his size, in the IWA at that time, is impressive. But until now, let’s face it, The Bad Ass One has bounced around the indies, kinda got back on the national picture in DarcPro a couple years back, but he has been just trending water, but! Boy! The Bad Ass One is back! He is the champ! The face of the company! And it couldn’t be better! If you missed him winning the title, please, go back and watch it! You won’t be disappointed! I promise you that! The Bad Ass is dirty then ever. Hornier than ever! Mouthier than ever. It is great! I can’t wait to see what he does with the belt, and if this press release shortly after winning the title is any indication, we are in store for one hell of a ride!”
Cut from Alan and his bird to the official WW press release.
For immediate release:
WhirlWind Wrestling LLC, along with Bad Ass Inc, is proud to announce the formation of The International Council, along with the hiring of Katherine Bush, COO of Bad Ass Inc. Mrs. Katherine Bush has a rich background in branding and promotions, heading up several projects for several big name corporations. Mrs Bush has carved out quite a reputation for being the best in her field, a true go getter. Mrs. Bush is also a stickler for the rules and making sure that there is a even playing field.
Newly crowned International WhirlWind Champion, the Bad Ass James Kelloggs was quoted as the press conference:
"Now that I am your truly great and the real International Champion, the line of assholes who will all want a shot at my belt will be vast. Several jerkoffs who all think they have what it takes to defeat me and take my belt away from me will know no limit. Therefore, I have formed the International Council to weed out the pretenders from those who think they have a legit claim to my title. Katie Bush will oversee this process and hold WhirlWind Wrestling's feet to the fire to make sure they won't try to screw me over. There will not be a Montreal ScrewJob on my watch! Katie Bush will dictate who gets a shot at my belt, and who will be left holding their tiny little pecker in their hands. As COO of Bad Ass Inc, she speaks for me, and this title! Trust me when I say this. Katie! She's a real bitch. Fucking bitch refused to have sex with me, while that has never happened to me before I meet her, I have much respect for that god damn bitch and truth be told, that is what sealed the deal. If she can resist temptation, keep her hands off of me and my giant Championship encrusted cock, then she is the perfect bitch for the job."
Mrs Katherine Bush was not taking questions. She said that she has to get to work and plan a proper celebration for the "First and only truly Great and Real International Champion."
Cut back to Alan
And his bird, clinging to the front of the cage, where I think he is trying to show off his little parrot balls. Kinda creepy…..
“Oh man! Champion for a day and he has hired Katherine Bush to handle the champs business! You just know somewhere, Pendragon is pissed. He is the number one contender to that title and James has already thrown a roadblock in his way! Anyways, onto Chain Lighting! Again, if you missed this event, go watch it! This was the coming out party for the new champ! The Bad Ass! James Kelloggs! Like! Check this out!”
Cut to Chain Lighting 2020!
Chain Lightning hits the airwaves to much fanfare as the camera are trained on an outside shot of the Gimnasio Nuevo Leon!
Thatcher: “HELLO WRESTLING FANS!”
Mynx: “AND WELCOME TO CHAIN LIGHTNING 2020!”
With the doors open to the Gimnasio Nuevo Leon in Monterrey Mexico for the first show of 2020 for WhirlWind Wrestling! Chain Lightning! The WW faithful are slowly filing inside for the show with the camera crew capturing as many happy and excited fans as they can! These die hard fans, once inside they are greeted with a sight that you just have to see to truly feel what is in store for tonight’s action packed show! The cameras pans from the fans, to inside the concourse.
In the concourse is a giant “bronze” statue, as tall as allowed by the rafters of the Bad Ass James Kelloggs holding the International WW title above his head after his huge victory at Seasons Past when he defeated B Epic and Calloway. Looking like a greek god with the fitness of 1000s of hours in the gym, the belt held above his head, lite up with as many gold LEDS as they could fit on the belt, highlighting and showcasing the highest honor you can hold in WhirlWind Wrestling, the fans are taken back, stunned and in awe for this moment erected to a great wrestler. Selfies and pictures will be lighting up social media in a heartbeat.
A banner is also on display, to the left of the “bronze” statue. The banner is hung over a giant cake, in which workers have started to cut little pieces of it and hand it out to anyone and everyone who wants a piece. The cake is in the shape of the International Championship while the banner reads:
Get ready for a Party Mexico! Get ready for the only Celebration that matters in 2020!
The Bad Ass James Kelloggs has invited you to the party!
His Party!
The Championship Party!
To the right of “bronze” statue is a huge video screen, as big as one would allow in the space provided. It is playing the ending of the match in which James hit the Bad Ass Bomb on Calloway, rolling him over onto his back, with some editing done to spice in a huge roar from the crowd on hand, and then James pinning the former champion to gain the victory and win the International Championship. Doves are CGI’d in flying across the screen as James gets his hand raised in victory as Kid Rock’s American Bad Ass then plays. In Spanish, a female voice says:
“Fanáticos de WhirlWind Wrestling, eres testigo del evento más grande en la rica historia de esta compañía, pero en el deporte cuando The Bad Ass James Kelloggs capturó no solo el Campeonato Internacional, los corazones y las mentes de millones de personas en todo el mundo. ¡Únase a nosotros aquí esta noche mientras coronamos a WhirlWind Wrestling como el primer Campeón Internacional Realmente Genial!”
(Translated: WhirlWind Wrestling fans, you witness the single greatest event in the rich history of this company, but in the sport when The Bad Ass James Kelloggs captured not only the International Championship, the hearts and minds of millions around the globe. Please join us here tonight as we crown WhirlWind Wrestling first Truly Great and Real International Champion!)
The camera moves past this towards the opening to the floor where some cheering is going on. Down in the ring, all around the ring, up the aisle leading towards the back are cheerleaders, the official Bad Ass Cheerleaders, and they are cheering and getting the fans filing in heading towards their seats all jazzed up for tonight’s show, as the chant:
Gimme a J!
Gimme a A!
Gimme a M!
Gimme a E!
Gimme a S!
What does that spell?
JAMES!
Who is our new champion?
JAMES!
Who is the Bad Ass!
JAMES!
Who do you want?
JAMES!
YAY!
Thatcher: “As you can see folks, tonight is going to be special. New Champion! New number one contender!”
Mynx: “New faces! New matches!”
Thatcher: “From the same company that made 2019 great! This is WhirlWind Wrestling and this is CHAIN LIGHTNING!”
Fade back to Alan and his bird, showing off it’s butthole.
“Oh man! Cake! A huge statue! Cheerleaders! What a way to kick off the show! Then! Just a little later, we get our first taste of Katherine Bush! COO of Bad Ass Inc! Check it out!”
Back to Chain Lightning 2020…
Cut to outside of the Gimnasio Nuevo Leon in the back where the stars of WW enter and exit the building. A very attractive brunette in a tight fitting skirt, a skirt that hugs every curve of her backside, is on her phone and is rather pissed. Whoever she is on the phone with, is getting an ear full.
“Listen! We have a deal! You want the Truly Real International Champion here tonight, then you BEST hold up your end of the rider and get the demands correct! Do I make myself clear? No! I said just pink starburst! No Bad Ass! Got it! GOOD! And find someone to steam clean his room! It stinks to high heaven in there! Thank you.”
Boss lady turns around and the cameraman is like right up on her. She holds her hand up and backs up.
“Whoah! How about getting that out of my face!”
“Sorry!”
“You better be! I don’t have time for the media right now! I’m busy! The Champ is on his way and I told them that there better be a red carpet rolled out for the only champion in pro wrestling that matters! The Bad Ass James Kelloggs only walks on red carpets! Do I make myself clear? So run along, and get someone to get my carpet laid out! Or I swear to god! I will make a call and have that limo turn right around! I’m Katherine Bush, COO of Bad Ass inc, Head of the International Council! What I say! Goes! Now run along! Get me my carpet!”
“Yes! Sorry! I will go get someone! Sorry!” The camera man says before the screen is filled with a shot of concrete and his worn out Vans running towards the building.
Cut back to Alan taking a sip of Monster energy drink.
“What a bitch? Am I right? That being said, I am in love with her! I would marry her right now. What the boss lady wants, I’m pretty sure the Boss lady gets! Now, they teased the new champion arriving throughout the night. Deep, Thatcher and Mynx talked about it all night with updates all night long. They did a good job of building up the excitement, especially when, well! Just watch!”
Back to Chain Lighting 2020!
Kid Rock’s American Bad Ass plays inside the Gimnasio Nuevo León.
Thatcher: “Is it time? Is he here?”
Mynx: “About time! Wait… hold on..”
Thatcher: “That’s not our new International Champion?”
The boos very quickly turns to cheers as the Bad Ass Cheerleaders run down to ringside, throwing t shirts, hats and other kinds of championship merch into the stands. A couple of the cheerleaders even has a t shirt cannon! Everyone is happy, also showing a lot of skin helps. While the Bad Ass Cheerleaders have fun throwing the merch to eager fans wanting a freebie, Katerine Bush, COO of BadAss Inc and the head of the International Council walks out sporting a big smile and a sexy black dress, that gets a bunch of catcalls and whistles.
Thatcher: “That’s Katherine Bush, who was hired by James Kelloggs and WhirlWind Wrestling shortly after Season past.”
Mynx: “I don’t like her.”
Thatcher: “She seems ...yeah. Bossy.”
Mynx: “That was not the word I was thinking of.”
As the music fades, Katherine smiles and waves.
Katherine: “Hello! I just wanted to take a moment and come out here and formally introduce myself! I’m Katherine Bush! COO of Bad Ass Inc, and head of the International Council! It is my job to make sure that only those competitors who have met the criteria, get a shot at the only championship in all of pro wrestling that matters. Not everyone can get a shot at the International Championship and the current title holder, Pro Wrestling only truly real International Champion, The Bad Ass! James Kelloggs!”
This is greeted by boos
Katherine: “As the head of the International Council, only I can give a would be opponent the blessing, the honor of facing WhirlWind Wrestling’s first and only really true International Champion, The Bad Ass! James Kelloggs! As James himself once said, I’m not what’s for breakfast anymore bitches! Your champion will be here soon! When he arrives, he will address the elephant in the room. Will The BadAss James Kelloggs pick Truth or Dare! Only he knows! And then, the Championship celebration will begin! In the meantime! Please enjoy this FREE MERCH! Sit tight, the wait is almost over with! I promise! This will be a night that none of you will forget!”
Kid Rock’s American Bad Ass begins to play again and more Bad Ass Cheerleaders roll a cart of goodies out for everyone, and that gets a cheap pop!
And cut back to Alan and his bird, who has his face pressed up to the cage trying to push its head through it. Pretty sure it needs help.
“Now let’s take a break from the first Truly International Champion for a minute or two because there were other things that went down at Chain Lighting 2020! Yes, the whole night wasn’t the Bad Ass show, although, it kinda was. Like the big match between my hero, your hero, everyone’s superhero! Bester! He took on Sutton who showed up at the end of last year and long and behold, Sutton has had a bone to pick for Bester for a long time. Going all the way back to the IWA when Bester made his pro wrestling debut. Nanook and Joe are still at each other’s throat and this is just taking this up a notch! Now, I can’t show you the whole match, but what I can tell you is the first five, ten minutes of this match. A tease, cuz, I am such a tease!”
Cut to Chain Lighting 2020 and Bester versus Sutton.
The Lacs’ Outlaw in Me plays as Sutton slowly strolls out from the back to a chorus of boos from the WW faithful inside the Gimnasio Nuevo Leon. Joe Jones comes out behind him in a nice suit and stands next to his former tag team partner.
Thatcher: Here we go folks!
Deep: The match everyone has been waiting on for a long time. Time to put up or shut up for Sutton.
The rings a couple of times as Sutton and Joe slowly make their way down to the ring.
Cruz Bleckley: This contest is scheduled for 1 fall with a 20 minute time limit! Making his way to the ring at this time, being accompanied by his agent, Double J Joe Jones. He is SUTTON!
Sutton steps over the top rope and into the ring without even acknowledging the crowd, who is busy giving him a put of crap.
Thatcher: Sutton isn’t even phased by the reaction he is getting.
Deep: Nor should he be. He is only here for 2 things. Beating up Bester and championship gold. Being the fan favorite wasn’t on his list of things to do.
Cruz Bleckley: And his opponent!
I’m a superhero blares over the PA system and is followed by a huge pop of the crowd! Especially from the under 10 demo. Bester comes running out from the back, holding his mask in his hand to a huge pop! Nanook isn’t too far behind him by the time Bester runs down the aisle as fast as he can, slapping as many little hands as he can along the way.
Cruz Bleckley: He is your superhero! This is Orgulloso Guardián Del Arcoiris!
Thatcher: It is always great to have OGDA on the show! It is always a treat!
While Bester gets a few more high fives and hugs in from the kiddies at ring side, Sutton is sitting in the corner without a care in the world, bringing his spit cup up to his lips from time to time. Nanook and Joe start jawboning at ringside, pointing, mocking each other, the whole nine yards.
Deep: So Bester finally gets in the ring. So now he puts his mask on?
Thatcher: Yes. Once he slides the mask over his head, he gains the magical powers of the mask and transforms from Bester to OGDA.
The Jazz asks Sutton if he is good. Sutton doesn’t even respond, just spits in his cup and watched the “Bald headed special needs reject” slide his mask on. Across the ring, Bester holds up the mask for all to see. For some reason, he is cheered as he then slides the mask over his bald head and then acts like he has been hit by a bolt of lightning thus transforming him into OGDA!
Thatcher: It’s complete! OGDA is here to do battle!
Deep: That was it?
Thatcher: Well, all he did was put a mask on.
Deep: I see that.
OGDA puffs his chest out and takes a couple of steps towards the center of the ring, placing his fists on his hips and staring down Sutton. The Jazz asks if OGDA is good to go, OGDA nods! The Jazz calls for the bell!
Thatcher: Here we go!
Deep: uhmm….Sutton doesn’t look ready.
Sutton is still sitting in the corner, slowly spitting in his spit cup. The Jazz leans towards him and tells him, “Let’s go! Time to fight!” Sutton sighs. OGDA not moving, the kiddies still cheering him on. Sutton sets his spit cup down on the mat under the turnbuckle, reaches up snagging the top rope and lifts himself to his feet. The Jazz gives the command for them to start fighting. Sutton takes a couple of steps towards OGDA.
Thatcher: I wonder what is going through Sutton’s mind? This is a match he has waited a long time for.
Deep: Probably a higher spot on the card?
Sutton looks OGDA up and down. He slowly shakes his head and looks at the Jazz, who is standing slightly bent over with his hands on his knees.
Sutton then tells the Jazz: “Is the mask really necessary?”
Thatcher: What? What kind of question is that?
Deep: A fair one. We all know who is under the mask.
Thatcher: That is not the point. The point of the mask…
Deep: Yeah, no one cares.
The Jazz just ignores the question, gives the command for them to fight. Sutton looks at OGDA. “Come on stupid! Remove the mask!” Sutton says.
This is greeted by boos. OGDA crosses his arms and shakes his head no. Sutton looks at Jazz again. “Tell the dolt to remove the mask! I wanted to fight Bester, not this bullshit!” Which is followed by more boos. OGDA shakes his head no.
Thatcher: Are we really doing this?
Sutton then turns his attention to The Jazz. “I said I wanted Bester! Not this crap! TELL HIM TO REMOVE THE MASK!” Sutton barks, demanding.
Deep: He has a point.
Thatcher: Sutton is just trying to get in OGDA’s mind.
The Jazz says “No! Come on Sutton! Time to fight!” to which Sutton responds with “YEAH! BESTER!” That is when OGDA shoves Sutton, spinning him around towards him, to a huge roar from the crowd, and it’s OGDA who puts his fists up!
Thatcher: Something tells me that OGDA is ready to go!
Deep: No one cares about OGDA! The match is Sutton versus Bester!
Sutton shakes his head, turns his attention back to the Jazz. “Listen here Ref!” Sutton says loudly, which is met with boos. “I ain’t fightin dis masked reject!”
“The match has begun! Time to fight!” The Jazz says. Sutton raises his hand, and that is when OGDA shoves Sutton again, this time catching Sutton with a closed fist to the temple to a huge pop from the crowd! Sutton covers his up and stumbles back towards the corner where his spit cup is at. Joe quickly is up on the aprun to check on his client.
Thatcher: Yeah!
Deep: I believe that was an illegal punch.
Nanook is now screaming at the Jazz to get Joe out of there. OGDA stands ready for a fight in the middle of the ring, holding his fists up. The Jazz tells Nanook “I’ve got it!” then turns his attention towards Sutton and Joe.
Thatcher: So The Jazz is getting this sorted. Hopefully folks we’ll have an honest wrestling match for you here tonight. Once Sutton stops nitpicking and grows a set.
Deep: He prepared for Bester all month long, not this OGDA guy. He’s not ready.
Thatcher: I’m sure he’ll be just fine.
Joe and Sutton have a quick meeting, Joe pats Sutton on the back and climbs down from the aprun. Sutton snaps his head side to side as he turns towards OGDA. The Jazz then tells Sutton that “The clock is running, it’s time to get it on!” “Yeah yeah yeah!” is Sutton's response. He squares up across from OGDA.
Thatcher: Finally! We’re about to get this match started.
Deep: No need to rush things Derrick.
Thatcher: Well this match does have a 20 minute time limit and we’ve used five minutes already.
Deep: Sutton will only need a minute to beat OGDA.
Thatcher: Then he needs to get going with it then.
Sutton and OGDA are about to lock up when Sutton backs off, holding up his hand signalling for OGDA to wait a sec. The crowd boos, is growing restless. Sutton holds his up his index finger. OGDA lowers his hands, looks at the Jazz as if telling him “Come on Ref!” That is when Sutton scoops his chew out of lip with his finger quickly, and flicks his wet soggy mass of chew at OGDA! It sticks to his mask!
The crowd is not pleased by this! The Jazz looks like he is about to hurl.
Thatcher: GROSS!
Deep: What is on his mask? Where did that come from?
OGDA reaches up with his bare hand and touches the mass of chew stuck to his forehead, only to have Sutton smash him with a huge left in the head!
Thatcher: OH COME ON!
Sutton doesn’t back off, strikes with several lefts, a kick and before you know it, he has OGDA back up against the ropes! The Jazz is holding his stomach and is dry heaving near the ropes himself. Nanook is losing his mind on the outside of the ring, yelling at The Jazz! Sutton with a hard chop across OGDA’s chest! Followed by a right to his head! Sutton sends OGDA into the ropes, and connects with a running knee to the gut! Sutton takes OGDA’s hand, twists his arm, sticks his big size 15 boot to the side of OGDA’s head and drops to the mat, pulling OGDA’s head into his boot! This drops OGDA on the mat holding his head. Sutton spins on his back towards OGDA, rolls onto his knees and connects with several shots to the back of the head on OGDA, all the while, The Jazz is leaning through the ropes, trying not to throw up.
Sutton pins OGDA’s shoulders down, kicks his legs out from under him, up in the air and drives his knees into OGDA’s ribs! Nanook has now moved to where The Jazz is, who is holding his gut, his face turning a shade of green. Joe has quietly and quickly moves to the other side of the ring.
Thatcher: The Jazz needs to get a hold of himself or we better get another referee out here, something.
Sutton plants his knee in the middle of OGDA’s back, to a chorus of boos that is getting louder. Then Sutton takes ahold of the mask, and forces OGDA’s head backwards. Sutton then reaches around with a forearm along side OGDA’s face! He then drapes OGDA’s arms over his knees and locks in a camel clutch on OGDA!
Deep: Looks like Sutton is going to end this one early!
Thatcher: What is Joe doing?
Joe quickly climbs in the ring, while The Jazz’s back is turned and Nanook’s face is turning several shades of red as he is yelling at him, and sprints across the ring, leaps and connects with a drop kick to the side of the exposed face of OGDA! Sutton drops him, OGDA falls face first on the mat as Joe slides out of the ring to quickly run around the ring towards the Jazz as Sutton jumps and lands a double foot stomp on OGDA’s back! Then he hooks his arms and rolls him onto his back for the pin! Joe yells and points at the pin at the Jazz, who snaps around, and dives for the mat with his hand ready to smack the canvas! Nanook is losing his mind.
1!
2!
OGDA kicks out to the approval of the WW faithful!
Thatcher: That was close! Whew boy, was that close.
Deep: I had 3, that ref is slow.
Joe barks at the Jazz as Sutton sits next to OGDA who is favoring his back. The Jazz tells Joe he’s got it! Sutton slides up closer to OGDA, locks OGDA’s one arm between his legs and using both hands, locks them under OGDA’s chin and pulls back!
Thatcher: Oh this isn’t good for OGDA!
Deep: Sutton! The master of 1002 holds!
The video stops playing as Willy presses pause. He sets his laptop on the couch next to him, kicks the footrest in on his reclining couch and gets up, grunting and holding his lower back. You see, Willy has a problem. It is a huge problem. His beer bottle is empty! A couple minutes later Willy returns with a full beer bottle. He sits down, kicks his feet back up in the air, takes a sip of some good microbrew shit and sets the laptop down on his lap. He double taps and of course, it goes to a youtube ad……
YouTube AD
In a poorly light warehouse somewhere in America is a jeep, JK, lifted 6 inches, big old swampers on it. Roll bar, bright ass led lights, suspension seats and sitting in that driver’s seat is a smoking hot redhead in a red lacy bra, very short cut off jeans where the thin hip hugging band of her red panties peak over her Daisy duke shorts. She grips the steering wheel and is pushing her girls together in the process. A fan off camera is blowing her long red hair. She pouts her red lips and gives the camera a wink.
“I just love to go off road in my custom Jeep. It just….” This sexy jewel says and it doesn’t take long to remember just who she is, and who she is, is Flashback 2!
“Turns me on. You know what else….” FB2 says before pausing, squeezing the girls together just a touch more and giving a seductive look at the camera.
“Turns me on? Voting. Hmmm. There is nothing hotter than a guy who rocks the vote. The primaries are going on and it’s time to see who will run against Trump this November. Time is running out to register and let your voice be heard. It’ll be a real shame if you…” FB2 says before bitting her bottom lip, glancing down at the girls that are just about to pop out of her bra. How did this be past the YouTube censors is surprising.
“If you pulled out at the last second. I hate to be disappointed. Don’t disappoint me.”
Off camera 7800 yells “DILLY DILLY!” which is followed by 2600 saying “7800!” in his stern, I’m mad at you dad voice.
Cut back to Alan’s room with no sign of his parrot. Did it get out? Where is he? Are we in danger?
“As you can see Joe and Sutton did not play nice throughout this match. Nanook even got involved at one point and let me tell you, if you have seen Nanook come off the top rope with a frog splash, you simply haven’t lived! This match broke down because Joe kept getting shots in on Bester when Jazz the ref wasn’t watching. Sutton even as far to slap one of Bester’s Shining stars! That is when Nanook got involved and Jazz threw this match out! A all out brawl broke out. Bester and Joe ended up on the outside of the ring going at, Nanook and Sutton were on the inside. Nanook ended up hitting a frog splash on the big old redneck from Hickory North Carolina and for a guy his size, Sutton will be feeling that for a while. Then Nanook, with the crowd cheering him on, went for a dive on Joe on the outside, but Joe pulled Bester into Nanook and Nanook took out Bester! Then Joe hit one of the sickest light out sweet chin music kicks I have seen in a long time on his former manager and friend Nanook, knocking him out cold! I’m telling you, just for that kick alone, you really need to go watch this match! I’m sure this isn’t the last we have seen of these four and who knows what will happen next month! This feud is far from over.”
Then Alan’s parrot slowly pokes his head over Alan’s right shoulder, from inside his cage thank god.
“Now, as promised, The newly crowned WhirlWind International champion was advertised to be here tonight, but as you will see next, I am starting to question that and I’m not sure if I can live with myself if I don’t get to see the Bad Ass one!”
Cut back to Chain Lighting 2020!
Backstage of the Gimnasio Nuevo León, Katherine Bush is on her phone, listening and nodding.
KB: “Okay. Very well then. Yes sir. Everything is in place. Cheerleaders, cake, red carpet, everything is as it should be for someone of your stature.”
Nikkie slowly walks up to Katherine with a mic in hand.
KB: “Everyone can’t wait for you to arrive. There is a buzz in the air. You will be welcomed with open arms. Very well sir. I will see you in a few minutes.”
Katherine ends the call and that is when she notices Nikkie.
KB: “Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.”
Nikkie: “Katie?”
KB: “Uhm! It’s Katherine Bush! COO of Bad Ass Inc, head of the International Council! Show some respect.”
Nikkie: “Sorry. Katherine. Was you just talking to James?”
KB: “Uhm! It’s Mr. International Champion James Kelloggs! And yes! I was speaking to him.”
Nikkie: “So he’s on the way?”
KB: “Yes, the only champion that matters in all of Pro Wrestling, the Truly Real International Champion is on his way as we speak. Now if you excuse…”
Nikkie: “I hate to pry, but, do you know if James Kelloggs is going to pick Truth or Dare?”
KB: “Much like everyone else in this company, and everyone around the world, you will just have to wait and see what Mr. Kelloggs picks.”
Nikkie: “Well, it’s just that James Kelloggs is scheduled to defend the International championship next month at Biorhythm….”
KB: “Excuse me?”
Nikkie: “Sorry?”
KB: “Uhm! No one cleared that with me if it is okay to make a title match at, what is the name of this event? Biorhythm? I can tell you right now! That match won’t be happening! That wasn’t cleared with the International Council!”
Nikkie: “Okay? But it’s scheduled to be a scramble match for the…”
KB: “No it’s not bitch! Out of my way! I have to take care of this!”
Katherine pushes her way past Nikkie and starts dialing a number on her phone. Nikkie is left standing there slightly confused.
NIkkie: “He also is scheduled to defend the title against Pendragon too. Bitch!”
Back to Alan and his bord screaming it’s head off for no reason whatsoever other than to be a complete dick.
“Oh you have to love it when someone gets their panties in a bunch! No? Well okay then. The question that begs to be asked though is will the new champion show up? Only time will tell I guess. I know this though, Katherine Bush is most definitely calling the shots when it comes to that title. If I was Pendragon, I would be a little worried about getting that shot at that belt that he rightfully earned and quite honestly, deserves. Will hear more about this later in the night but first, how about a flashback?”
Road to Wrestlemania 2
Part 2
On the shore of Lake Christine at the Kinko Birch Resort and Campsite in a not really well heated shed full of tools and junk that has been converted to a locker room for tonight’s wrestling show on the ice, under the big tent where a battle royal will be taking place. Where the winner of this battle royal will earn a trip to Wrestlemania 2 and a spot in the battle royal!
Live on Pay Per View!
This is the big time. A shot that one Davey Hart Bushelbubby does not intend on losing.
Davey Hart strolls into the makeshift locker room with his NIke gym bag over his shoulder, and his walkman on his hip, rocking Crew’s Shout at the devil. He bobs his head, air drums and spins on his heels as he picks his spot to call his spot. He blobs his gym back down on the chair in front of an old beat up locker and takes his walkman and sets it down on the top shelf in the locker leaving his headphones on. It’s a good jam and he can’t but jam the F out to it!
As Davey starts to unbutton his shirt the song he is listening to ends, there is a pause in the tunes. He then notices that it got quiet in the locker room. When he showed up, there were like 30 plus guys in there, busting balls, talking shit, smoking a joint, drinking a beer. But it got real quiet. Davey Hart glances over his shoulder wondering what gives and that is when he spots who just walked into the locker room. Davey Hart’s mouth drops to the floor. He slowly slides the headphones off his head and stares at the door to this shed along with the other 30 plus dudes.
Standing in the doorway, ducking his head to get through the doorway is the biggest, tallest guy Davey Hart Bushelbubby has ever seen in his entire life. Suddenly the odds of winning that battle royal and going onto Wrestlemania 2 just shrank as the ninth wonder of the world steps into the locker room. That’s correct, to win the battle royal, Davey Hart has to beat Andre the Giant.
DHB “Mother….”
Cut back to Alan’s room in his apartment with his bird chewing at the cage. WTF is wrong with his bird?
“Can you imagine that? Here you are getting ready to punch your ticket to Wrestlemania 2 and all you have to do is win this battle royal and in walks Andre the Giant! Yeah right! Like, good luck buddy! We’ll see how that went for Davey on my next show but right now, Let’s go back to Chain Lightning 2020 and see if the new champion, the Bad Ass James Kelloggs arrived or not!”
Cut back to CHAIN LIGHTNING 2020!
Thatcher: “What a night tonight has been! Great action! The fans are just loving the first event of 2020! Plus! Our newly crowned champion James Kelloggs will be here later tonight folks!”
Mynx: “He better hurry up! We’re almost out of time.”
Thatcher: “Wait! Hold on! Why is Katherine Bush walking towards the ring?”
No music, no fanfare, Katherine Bush makes a b-line down to the ring. Of course there are the cat calls and whistling from the WW die hard fans. She flicks her long hair over his shoulder as she steps under the middle rope and into the ring.
Thatcher: “She looks like a lady on a mission.”
Mynx: “Have I told you, I really don’t like her.”
Thatcher: “You might have mentioned that once or twice tonight.”
Mynx: “Yeah, well f….”
Katherine Bush: “Thanks to piss poor managment that runs WhirlWind Wrestling, a group of morons who could fuck up a wet dream! Tonight’s huge championship celebration planned for tonight has been canceled!”
Thatcher: “What? Why?”
Mynx: “These fans are not happy.”
This announcement is greeted by boos.
Katherine Bush: “You should boo! You should be upset! You should also demand refunds! Your Truly Real International Champion won’t be here tonight as a direct result of a few misguided gentlemen, a small group of power hungry, money grabbing sloths who took it upon themselves to book a match for Biorhythm, in which god knows who will be handed a shot at Pro Wrestling’s only championship that matters! A match that is nothing but a clear cash grab! A match to pat themselves on the back and puff their chests out so they can say in some stupid interview in the dirt sheet, Look at me! Look at what WE did! As head of the International Council! I am invoking my veto powers and vetoing this, this, scramble match! Seriously! Who books scramble matches in 2020? Like! That is cra cra!”
A “BULLSHIT” chant breaks out.
Katherine Bush: “I completely agree! That match is bullshit!”
The WW faithful quickly change gears, start up the old stand by, “ASSHOLE!” chant.
Katherine Bush: “I’m so happy you people aren’t dumb! Those in charge are assholes! I will not allow them to soil The Bad Ass Era will pointless, silly matches that lack a legit challenger!”
Not to be out done, the WW faithful quickly start a “YOU ARE DUMB!” chant.
Katherine Bush: “Yes! Tell them! Louder!”
The WW faithful break out a “NO! YOU’RE DUMB” chant. To which Katherine smiles and laughs a little.
Katherine Bush: “Please! I went to Harvard! All of you combined don’t have the IQ that I have! Much like that little boys who run this company, all of you are just as stupid as them!”
After some boos, a “WE WANT PENDRAGON!” chant breaks out, getting louder and louder. Katherine Bush just shakes her head and rolls her eyes.
Katherine Bush: “Speaking of Pendragon!”
The WW faithful chant louder and louder hoping to drown her out.
Katherine Bush: “Excuse me! The head bitch in charge is speaking!”
Mynx: “At least she admits she’s a raging bitch.”
The WW Faithful quickly boo Katherine.
Katherine Bush: “As I was saying before you Boomers rudely interrupted me!”
Booes get louder.
Katherine Bush: “I’m not sure what qualifications this Pendragon thinks he has earned, to garner a shot at the Truly Real International Championship! But he is sadly mistaken if he thinks at Seismic Assault he is getting the honor of being in the same ring as the Bad Ass One! The International Council, to which I am the head of, just had a meeting backstage and we agreed, with a seven to nil vote, that Pendragon is not the first person who will get a shot at the International Championship! Pendragon hasn’t EARNED such an honor!”
This news is greeted by boos. The WW faithful just don’t like Mrs. Bush.
Katherine Bush: “Now hold on! Hold on! I understand that all you show up to these shows with only one wish! There is only one thing that brings you to this building and to these shows, and that is to bare witness to a truly great man, a superior fighter in this sport, in this industry, The only champion in all of pro wrestling that matters, and the first and only Truly Real International Champion, The Bad Ass One, James Kelloggs.”
A “NO!” chants quickly pops up.
Katherine Bush: “Oh don’t lie! You know it’s true! Every single one of you has his poster above your bed. All you ladies secretly have a crush on him and wish you could spend just one night with him!”
NO!
NO!
NO!
Katherine Bush: “It’s okay! It’ll be our little secret ladies! I won’t tell a soul! But!”
Katherine shrugs and is about to drop a bitter truth on this crowd.
Katherine Bush: “Not all of you, much like Pendragon, stack up even to able to get a ride on the Bad Ass Train. Some of you, okay, most of you. Sorry, I lied, All of you! You’re not worth it for him to take you to pound town! But! Don’t worry!”
Katherine tries to say over the boos.
Katherine Bush: “I know! The truth hurts! Which is probably why Pendragon wears a mask, to hide his tears. The International Council will have a meeting and at Biorhythm, we will announce just who The Bad Ass One will face at Seismic Assault! Most likely in a non title match as you know, I just covered this, no one has really earned a shot at the International Championship!”
That free merch that handed out earlier in the night, is now finding its way into the ring. Katherine Bush shrugs and mouths “Sorry! I know the truth hurts” as she exits the ring, dodging wadded up shirts and foam fingers.
Thatcher: “Well! That was quite the turn of events!”
Mynx: “Nothing like James dodging everyone. I’m sure Pendragon won’t take this lying down.”
Fade back to Alan’s apartment with his bird banging it’s head on the side of the cage and what sounds like laughter.
“Well I guess our new champion has decided to not show up. Can you blame him? What was that? No you can’t. Oh well. That is all for Chain Lightning and that is all for this video. Be sure to like, subscribe and ring the bell so you get an alert for my next video, where I will follow the newly crown International Champion James Kelloggs as he kicks off a world tour. Plus, We will catch up with Bester as he dabbles in becoming a male stripper? Oh man, I don’t know about that. And we will see if Davey Hart Bushelbubby punches his ticket to Wrestlemania 2! I’m Alan, and this is my Out There Wrestling Video! Bye!”
Fade out.