The Underground Wrestling Tournament. LEAKED video

[Bester/OGDA & Team ATARI]

Buried on the dark Web on an unnamed message board, a video was left for everyone’s viewing pleasure. Willy, who is out of work and is following the rabbit down the conspiracy hole, and found the video and clicked play.

A black screen is shown with two guys taking pro wrestling on a podcasts. Who they are is not important.

“The pandemic has wiped away the independent scene not only in America, but world wide. Unless you are one of the handful of wrestling companies with a national TV audience…”

“That no one is watching by the way.”

“That may be true, but those companies are the only wrestling companies active. Yes there are no fans. Yes the guys and gals in the locker room are making up something that is suppose to be a crowd, while social distancing, in an attempt to create some sort of atmosphere for these shows. Those TV shows remain the only outlet for people who love professional wrestling. There are many guys and gals out there who, this is their job, and they are out of work with the indies shut down. These companies that are on TV, can’t hire them all. Sadly that is the reality we live in.”

-Southern California, July 2020

Buried in the ghetto, in a run down warehouse that has been tagged more than we care to count, a line has formed outside of it. A small line of 300 people, all wearing masks and handing over hard earned, cold hard cash to enter this building. By word of mouth only, no twitter, Instagram or Facebook posts are allowed as this gathering of people is highly illegal under California law. Tonight, the best highly touted indie stars have gathered to do what they do best. To put asses in the seats, to wrestle and put on one of the best wrestling shows in the world today.

Fuck the WWE
Fuck AEW
Fuck ROH and Impact.
New Japan can go fuck themselves.
Today top stars are here tonight……

No mats. No guardrails. No huge screen, pyro and the sound system sucks ass. A basic 20 by 20 ring with black ropes and a black mat with a ring apron that simply reads “Thank you” sits in middle of the warehouse with the 300 die hard wrestling fans who are hungry for live pro wrestling of any kind, and could drop 60 bucks a ticket to get in, have taken up their spots throughout the building, using old wooden cable reels as tables with 1 or 2 folding chairs by each one, each one six(ish) feet apart. Masks are required, for the fans and the wrestlers, along with gloves. AJ Styles style of gloves are fine.

In the ring, is Big Red Kennedy. Huge star from St. Louis. A mountain of a man, six ten, 300 plus pound lumberjack brute who rules the midwest with his tree falling paws. (Based on a fed and a character from back in the day, during the geocities efedding days. I added the name Kennedy for shits and giggles. Big Red Wrestling I believe it was called. Big Red was the owner, commish and of course World champion, undefeated (Shocker, I know). The fed revolved around him. Ah the good old days. I joined for a minute, but it has always remained in the back of my mind of really useless efed info.)

Big Red is set to face Jose Sanchez of WhirlWind Wrestling fame. Jose Sanchez is taking this Covid very seriously, more than most. Perhaps he shouldn’t be working this show, but he has ten kids and needs the money, and the plant he worked at back home has shut down. He was promised good money and hopes to work more underground shows in the South West to get him through.

Jose has his mask on, a N95 number, gloves, and a suit made of bubble wrap. Big Red has none of it on. No mask. No Gloves. Fucking nothing. And Big Red is looking at this 175 pound Jose Sanchez with much disdain in his eyes.

Big Red “Are you fucking kidding me?” Barks Big Red with a slight hint of his Scottish roots in his voice.

Jose Sanchez stands in his corner, with his fists up, ready to fight.

Big Red “I’ve come all the fucking way from St. Louis! Putting my rep, and my undefeated streak on the line! To face this scrawny like fuck of a man? Dressed in a, what is that? Bubble wrap? Get the fuck out of here! I heard about this tournament that is happening here with ten grand to the winner of this thing! How in the fuck did YOU even qualify for this tournament? I say! To the promoters in the back! You bunch of swirly girly men, get me some real competition out here now! Also, know this! I spit on your rules! Fuck that mask! Fuck your gloves! I’m BIG RED! No Man! No virus! Is going to stop me! I’m unstoppable!”

The 300 fans who paid good money not to mention a huge fine from the state of California for this illegal gathering, boo Big Red and are real vocal about it. Calling him all sorts of names and this doesn’t make Big Red happy as he is treated as a god back home.

Big Red “I don’t give one flying fuck what you think of me! I’m only here for the ten grand! You know what!”

Big Red slams the mic down, he charges in towards poor Jose and just crushes him in the turnbuckles with his big huge meaty arm decapitating him. Big Red take a hold of Jose and clubs him multiple times across the back with big forearm smashes, and then holds Jose in the corner and connects with a big old uppercut. The referee for this match, Blue Shoes, Red Shoes long distance cousin, calls for Big Red to break it up and get it out of the corner, to which Big Red then threatens to punch Blue Shoes’s lights out, which gets the 300 strong worked up. Blue Shoes is a local hero you know. Big Red takes a hold of Jose’s bubble suit and looks out to the 300 strong.

Big Red “Watch this you idiots!”

And then proceeds to throw Jose Snachez across the ring. Not a hip toss, not throwing him into the ropes, Big Red just threw him like a fastball right over the plate! Jose crashes in the opposite turnbuckle and lands upside down on his head.

Big Red “COME ON!” He barks. “GET YOUR ASS UP!”

Big Red stomps on Jose Sanchez, and takes a holds of his feet, drags him out of the corner, and wraps his huge ass hands around Jose’s tiny ankles. Jose for the most part is out. He knew in his heart of hearts he had no chance against Big Red. But 500 bucks is 500 bucks.

Big Red “Times up you little shit!”

Big Red then reaches down and takes a hold of Jose around his throat and lifts him up in the air, sliding his legs over his shoulders in the process lighting him up in a powerbomb, Big Red’s finisher called Red Oak. It’s like Taker’s last ride, but he sits it out and really snaps his opponent down to the mat, and the lighter the man, the more snap, and Jose is no exception. You can hear some of the 2x6 planking crack in the middle of the ring as Big Red drives Jose into the mat! Big Red doesn’t even put his boots on Jose’s shoulders, he tosses Jose’s legs to the side, stands up and places a boot on his chest then orders Blue Shoes “COUNT MOTHERFUCKER!”

3 seconds later. Big Red is moving onto the next round, in Vegas. The 300 strong, they don’t like Big Red at all and they let him know. As Big Red stands with his boot still on Jose’s chest, he poses and flexes.

Big Red “Still UNDEFEATED You stupid twats! No one! No one can best me!”

Just then everyone’s hearts skip a beat including Big Reds as a siren is heard blasting at eardrum bursting volume as a huge 1976 Winnebago Chieftain MotorHome comes blasting into the warehouse!

Big Red “The fuck?”

The 300 strong who are all standing on their feet with their jaws on the ground and their minds blown all begin to chant “HOLY SHIT!” as Team ATTARI, 2600 and 7800 climb on top of the RV, also known as the Mobile Command Center. Seconds later, there is a huge roar of cheers as Flashback 2 joins 2600 and 7800 on top of the MCC. The trio then strike a pose of their own, chests out, hands on their hips, staring down at Big Red who is clueless. A “DILLY DILLY” chant breaks out!

Big Red “The fuck is this shit?”

2600 holds his hand up to signal for the crowd to calm down. Everyone does their best to quite up as 2600 points at Big Red in the ring and raises a mic with his other hand.

2600 “Big League Chew…”

This gets Big Red all red in his face, and cracks up the fans.

2600 “You have called for the thunder being the simple minded and ignorant Yamauchi scum that you are!”

Big Red “The fuck you just call me?”

2600 “Settle down princess. No need to get your retainer in a bind. We have been tracking you for years! We have kept a real good eye on you for a long time. And tonight, we will go to war! War to protect these fine peoples of LA, protect them from asschaps Yamauchi hamster lovers such as yourself! We know you came here not for the Ten grand, you came here to find the Ecto Green Dilithium Crystal to start the Energon Device in your hometown of St. Louis. Yes, Hubba Bubba, we know that you know where the Energon Device is hidden, and by golly Spearmint, your quest to shatter the dome and escape this Flat Earth is going to come to a abrupt end! Also, you should really wear a mask. Just look around with your stupid poopie colors peepers Gusher, everyone is wearing a mask. Everyone is doing their part to flatten the curve, except you! And for that, because you dared to call down the thunder, 7800 and I, we accept your challenge and we will gladly face you in hand to hand combat!”

Big pop from the 300 strong tonight. Big Red just laughs. He slaps Blue Shoes across the chest and points at Team ATTARI.

Big Red “You two rejects against me?! Big Fucking Red! Who has never tasted defeated in over 20 years! You two believe that you are MAN enough to BEAT me? Ring the bell! Bring it on! I will make quick fucking work of you two!”

2600 “Very well then. Soon, very soon, there will be one less Yamauchi scumbag in this world! 7800! If you will!”

2600 hands the mic to 7800. Everyone gets real quite, for they don’t want to miss it. 7800 raises a fist in the air and holds it there, and he bends over just a bit and eyes Big Red in the ring.

7800 “DILLY DILLY!”

And everyone cheers! And then 7800 throws a flash bang on the ground and the lights go out in the warehouse….

A couple of seconds later, the lights fire back up, being old mercury lights, they take a couple of seconds to warm back up, and when they do, Big Red is looking around and doesn’t see Team ATTARI, but everyone else does. In the ring behind Big Red, ready to strike. Big Red slowly turns around with a confused look on his face and steps right into a SUPERKICK PARTY! Big Red stumbles backwards into the ropes! He leans back into them and the ropes pushes him back towards Team ATARI!

SUPERKICKS!

Big Red is rocked, again falling backwards into the ropes and back to his feet where he stumbles forward…

SUPERKICKS!

His arms are flailing about as Big Red again falls into the ropes, and the ropes fling him back to his feet one more time.

SUPERKICKS!

Big Red doesn’t fall backwards this time, but he leans backwards like he is about to fall like a giant red oak. This time, 2600 and 7800 quickly scale the turnbuckles in opposite corners. The 300 on hand for this show are all on their feet, cheering Team ATTARI on when they take to the sky and drop Big Red with double missile dropkicks to a huge roar and cheers! 2600 comes off of the ropes and connects with a rolling thunder on Big Red who is on the mat! 2600 quickly rolls out of the way as 7800 hits a running senton on Big Red! 2600 with a Jericho inspired Asia moonshot off the second turnbuckle. 7800 hops up on the top rope and then leaps high into the air and hits a double foot stop on Big Red’s chest! 7800 then quickly covers Big Red, as 2600 dives on top of 7800 and Blue Shoes is right there for the count, with all 300 in attendance counting along.

1! 2! 3!!!!!!

A “HOLY SHIT!” chant breaks out as Team ATTARI jumps to their feet and high five each other.
Mark this day on your calendar, as 2020 was the year that Big Red was finally defeated…..