Post by Jacob Hotstuff on Sept 11, 2018 10:14:38 GMT -8
For anyone who was looking forward to our Inferno match at Wildfire, you can take solace in getting at least a measure of that closure. Thanks to anyone that we were able to draw into the epic 5 month build up, it was a pleasure!
First, the full show link if you are interested: www.onlinechampionshipwrestling.com/mayhem.html
Now, the full match if you just wanted to watch us!
This is the culmination of a five month blood rivalry resulting in the first singles match between “Hollywood Jesus” Jacob Hotstuff and the masked Strategist, Pendragon. Originally slated for a confrontation in August at the pay-per-view extravaganza “Wildfire", obviously now that can't happen. We are eternally grateful to both the OCW for allowing us to tell this story here, as well as the fine folks at Whirlwind Wrestling LLC for allowing us the opportunity to bring this match the much-needed airtime it deserves. Thank you guys, we love you and you'll be missed! Now, with that said...you paid for a show, and we will give you exactly that!
In what began with a statement…
Both men threw their best shots at the other, each with a plan to enable and neither having “defeat” as a part of those plans;
In the end though, it wasn't The Upper Class that would flex their will;
But it was The Upper Class that would get the last laugh;
Jacob Hotstuff had thrown a fireball into the face of Pendragon, but not even that would hold him down…the next month at Day of Judgment, Jacob found himself on the wrong side of a veteran’s Monterrey Meltdown (Coquina Clutch), but that wasn't where Jacob’s poor luck would end. While being checked out by a physician, Pendragon would take it upon himself to “crash the party” so to speak;
Pendragon had set the omen in position. He wasn't going to stop until he had rid the wrestling world of Jacob. And Jacob wouldn't stop until...well, we'll let you see how Jacob upped the ante, at Triple Threat;
And now it's all come down to this;
OCW: Mayhem on the Midway
Inferno Match: Hair vs Mask
Jacob Hotstuff vs Pendragon
Co-written by: Jacob Hotstuff & Pendragon
Produced by: Whirlwind Wrestling LLC
Interior: The Pendragon Estate
The red Segway PT raced over a loose dirt road at “breakneck” [sic] speeds with Jacob Hotstuff stood atop it, his face cold and remorseless as he crashed through the elaborate iron gate that wasn’t securely shut.
“Mua ha ha...come, Pendragon!” Jacob lambasted to no one in particular, “The time is near...we must settle this. I must rob you of that which makes you, you - your mask, your identity - and I must burn it to ash!”
It didn’t take much more than a few minutes for Jacob to roll up to the front door, solid oak as it was, and ornamented by large golden hinges and a chinese dragon door knocker. Jacob took the ornament in his hand, dropping it again the door in a loud “thud”.
Thud. Thud. Thud...to which the door slowly opened, revealing Pendragon dressed more casually, but with his iconic mask strapped tightly to his head.
“Jacob? What on Ear -”
“Silence! The time has come, we must do battle! For superiority! For everything! For nothing. This ends. Right, NOW!”
Pendragon stared at his Whirlwind adversary, a bit dumbstruck, and maybe partially taken aback by this Hollywood loon wearing a fur coat and riding a segway. Curiously, Pendragon shook his head.
“Jacob...Whirlwind is over. We’re not needed anymore. We don’t have to do this…”
“So you’re scared of Hollywood Jesus then, of my brilliance!” Jacob lashed back at the masked man, shoving past still on his segway. Pendragon turned around, now a bit irritated at his Whirlwind nemesis inviting himself into his home…
“Jacob, you need to leave. You’re not taking my mask, I’m not burning you...we’re not even being paid anymore, what part of services not required do you not understand? Whirlwind is over. We’re not fighting...Wildfire isn’t happening.”
“You fool! Brother Pendragon...” Jacob reaches to the wall, grasping a [conveniently placed] wooden practice sword, brandishing the “blade” at Pendragon’s body! “Do you not know? This is the part, when you fall down and bleed to death! En garde!” All of this while Jacob still stood on the segway, of course.
Pendragon stared blankly at the clearly off-his-rocker B-List sensation, but the gravity of the situation not lost on him. With the “sword” held with tip-to-chest, it was obvious what Pendragon had to do…
With a flash he spun around, his backfist knocking the wooden blade from his body, granting time to take his own “sword” from the wall, which happened to also be so conveniently placed.
“Jacob...you shall leave me no choice…”
Jacob is quick to go for his sword, momentarily stepping off the segway as Pendragon was quick to close the gap. Jacob made it back to his pair of Hollywood Wheels but quickly tumbled backwards with a swift flourish from his rival catching him square in the ribs. Jacob gritted his teeth as Pendragon ascended to the platform with wheels and with his sword raised high in the air gave chase to the man known as Hollywood Jesus as he was quick to put space between each other.
Jacob cleverly used the meticulously arranged furniture as a second man to keep Pendragon just out of reach as the gears were turning in his head on a way to reverse this sudden shift in fortune. Pendragon meanwhile invoked images of a mad general on a modern chariot seeking to vanquish his foe as he swung horizontally, missing by inches as Jacob ducked and tossed a chair into his path. Pendragon backed up and wheeled around the obstacle as he resumed pursuit as Jacob was beginning to run out of furniture to duck and dodge behind. Looking to nearby shelves he began tossing various objects; books, paperweights, a cup of marbles and even a snow globe all to no avail as Pendragon was not deterred in his chase. Finally Jacob reaches towards a cabinet and pulls out a pewter candle holder and chucks it with all his might! The candle holder lands right where it needs to, jamming the platform at the right wheel as it came a sudden halt, the momentum throwing the masked strategist off!
Pendragon's sword skids across the room as Jacob slowly twirls the handle with his fingers as he approaches his rival before swinging downward using both hands.
WHACK!
Pendragon rolled out of the way at just the right moment as Jacob flashed a grimace showcasing both anger and disbelief. The Man in the Mask kipped up off the floor and allowed his feet to move swiftly and fluidly as he followed up each dodge with a kick, alternating high and low. Professional Wrestling's (Self-Proclaimed) Michael Bay however knew that he couldn't allow his nemesis to arm himself and maneuvered himself in a way to place himself between the training sword fifteen or so feet away. Pendragon followed him like a shadow and closed the gap swiftly as he shifted his body just enough to evade the downward swing with a palm strike straight to the chest causing him to drop his weapon! Jacob gasps for air as Pendragon slid down the table Dukes of Hazzard style to his weapon. Suddenly the air of combat was interrupted as a new person emerged on the scene.
'Pendragon? I wasn't aware we were expecting company...'
The voice of El Herrero, Pendragon's trusted confidant, the Alfred to his Batman, cut the tension in the room if only for a moment. Wearing a navy blue suit with a mask to match and a grey beard protruding through the bottom. He was carrying a silver tray with a sizzling hot fajita sitting on top of it. El Herrero was a man more prepared for dinner than war.
'We weren't. This lunatic showed up here unannounced to, in his words, “do battle”.'
El Herrero turned his head as the smug grin of Jacob was swiftly looking back at him, still on a knee.
'Oh, this guy. You should've just told me it was Jacob; that explains everything. You mean he came all this way just for this? Did he get the memo that your services were no longer required? Pretty sure everyone got their pink slip and their last paycheck.' You could almost hear El Herrero's eyes roll behind his mask.
'Silence, Jeeves! How dare you mock at the feet of your social superiors, The Upper Class!' Jacob was swift to quip back. Pendragon and El Herrero turned to look at one another, their body language mirroring one another; one part disbelief and two parts astonishment.
'...Should I call the authorities or the psych ward?' El Herrero's shoulders slumped as he was ready to just put an end to this before the estate was turned into a war zone.
'That won't be necessary. Besides he'd just keep coming back. Speaking of, remind me to change home security systems... clearly our current offering has failed us.'
Jacob had enough as he grabbed a hold of the pan of sizzling fajitas, which conveniently had a pot holder draped over the handle and flung it in it's entirety at his adversary! Pendragon managed to parry the pan but not the sizzling food that landed all over him which served to stain his clothes more than anything else. Jacob then entered a struggle with El Herrero over the silver tray in which he just snatched dinner off of. Pendragon is quick to run to his old friend's aid as El Herrero and Hollywood Jesus struggled over the platter more than an albino silverback and a Roman soldier in a gladiatorial arena to prove their dominance with Jacob's youth inevitably winning out. Pendragon arrived just in time to take a direct hit as Jacob smashed the silver platter over his head. Pendragon took three steps forward swinging wildly with his sword before faceplanting on the ground.
El Herrero is quick to try to rush to his friend's aid but Jacob dispatches him quickly with a backfist to the face sending the masked senior citizen down for a nap. Pendragon appears to be out like a light as a lightbulb goes off in Jacob's head. He goes over to his segway, dislodging the candle holder from the wheel allowing the contraption to work “good enough” to go in forward and reverse. Hollywood Jesus takes what appears to be a victory lap around the room and his fallen foe before dismounting the platform with wheels and picking the Masked Man up and placing him on the device, handlebars supporting his slumped over body. With the segway Jacob guides his foe to the fireplace in which a signed, one of a kind painting of Jerry Stiller sat upon the mantle above it. Hollywood Jesus unceremoniously yanks Pendragon backward off the device causing it to halt and the masked strategist to fall prone on his back.
The fire crackled ominously as the sinister reddish orange flickers of plasma danced a dance of death as the wood within was being charred beyond recognition. Jacob grabbed Pendragon by the back of the head, using his mask as a point to fasten his grip, as he dropped to a knee as he held it towards the fireplace.
'You want to read me my last rites?! You want to “anoint” me in kerosine and send me pictures of fire and things burning, you masked fuggo freak?! I'm going to give you a real reason to wear that mask and then I'm going to take it away from you! I AM the Michael Bay of Professional Wrestling and you're about to star in my next film; Hollywood Jesus Presents:, Return of the Messiah: Ashes to Ashes the Dragon Burns Down in 4K Ultra HD!'
Jacob Hotstuff gives his Hollywood villain monologue before trying to shove Pendragon's head into the fireplace! The Man in the Mask comes to life not a moment sooner as he presses his hands outside the fireplace to prevent his head from being shoved into the open flame! Jacob shoves harder trying to force his head inside but to no avail, he's not budging! Jacob, so desperate to burn his foe begins to press forward with his entire body now knowing there would be no escape if Pendragon lost his grip now. Pendragon's grip slips slightly as his face gets uncomfortably close to the flames but somehow, someway he finds the strength to throw Jacob's body off his back and slumps to a seated position next to the fireplace.
Jacob is incensed now and looking for something, anything to hit Pendragon with. Immediately he goes for the painting of Jerry Stiller off the mantle and slams it right through Pendragon's head as he attempts to get up. Comically, the painting remains dangled around Pendragon’s neck with his head protruding through the center of the prolific painting. There would be no time for laughs though; Jacob knew his fight was not yet over. With a boot to the side of the masked man’s face, Pendragon is kicked back into the mantle and allowing the movie star to take his leave.
The shot would remain fixed on Pendragon for a number of minutes before finally coming to, with him slowly removing the now ruined picture frame from around his neck. Of course to his surprise, Jacob was nowhere to be seen. No way Jacob had barged in with such a grandiose entrance only to leave a few minutes later. No, no, that wouldn’t be like Jacob Hotstuff at all…”So where…” Pendragon muttered to himself, finally risen to his feet. His eyes dart around the room, finally resting on a doorway left cracked open. Only darkness emanated from within.
“If that’s the only lead…”
Cautiously, Pendragon stepped into the darkness, calling for Jacob to show himself at once. If this was some kind of joke it really wasn’t funny anymo - Pendragon suddenly gasps, barely falling backwards in time to avoid the sudden rush of velocity above. More frightened than anything, Pendragon cautiously moves forward to inspect whatever that was. It’s a box. A box? Yes, just a box...until the lights came on suddenly. In the bright light, Pendragon could tell two things. One, he was stood in his own war room, fabulously adorned by posh rugs and a lengthy golden oak table, and scattered about the floor were portraits of some of the best generals of history. Everyone from Sun Tzu to Washington, Grant to Lee and, yes, even Genghis Khan. Wait, on the floor? Much to Pendragon’s dismay, the portraits lay scattered about, but replacing them on the walls were none other than several different lifelike portraits of Michael Bay, each painting utilizing a different pose than the last! Pendragon shakes his head in disgust before finally turning back to the box that could have squashed him. He picks it up and closely inspects it, searching for the label…
To his horror, he drops the box on his toe as he stumbles back, the camera zooming in to see just what scared him away...ACME Napalm it said. “What the ever lovin…” the masked man exclaimed! “I could have been crushed, or doused……...doused in NAPALM?! This, this is too -”
In the distance, the clickety clack of wheels to the floor can be heard, perhaps the only warning Pendragon would receive. The bright lights intensify, nearly blinding the man in the mask while Hollywood screeches pierced his ear drums - it was Jacob sat atop his platform with wheels, speeding toward his target at “breakneck” speeds before finally, with a death-defying leap from the Segway, landing flush onto Pendragon via Lou Thesz Press!! From the mount position Jacob laid in punch after punch after punch onto his rival, ending with both hands wrapped tightly around Pendragon’s throat!
A deep throttling would be the Dragon’s demise?! Quickly, Pendragon began to fade as the breaths quickly passed through his lungs… just when it looked like Jacob finally snuffed out the masked strategist and prevailed at long last...
THUMP!
El Herrero comes in with the clutch save and receipt having smacked Jacob Hotstuff in head with what appears to be a volume of the Encyclopedia Britannica! Pendragon gasps for air on the ground as the hit while enough to break the choke was far from a knockout blow. El Herrero goes for a second swing but Hollywood Jesus ducks and hits the elder masked man with a rather flashy looking uppercut. El Herrero stirs on the ground trying to slowly get up as Jacob takes his time kicking his foot into his face, imploring him to kiss his feet! El Herrero however starts... laughing? Jacob tilts his head rather perplexed, wondering why this man, who had to at least be somewhere in his sixties was laughing. Clearly it wasn't his Gucci boots or designer jeans but yet that silver haired glorified butler (in his eyes anyway) was mocking him all the same! Jacob considers yanking the old fool up by his beard but afraid of finding a baby bird or last week's lunch buried somewhere within it decides not to, instead using the mask for leverage as he lifts him up.
Jacob locks him in a three-quarter facelock...
El Herrero reaches into his jacket as Jacob begins to transition...
CLACK CLA- BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ!
El Herrero, brandishing a taser shocks the living daylights out of Jacob Hotstuff as his eyes light up and nearly bulge out of his skull before falling to his knees! El Herrero turns off the device and slides it back into his coat as he eschews a chance at further payback opting to check on his friend. By this point Pendragon had pulled himself up to seated position as the two masked men exchanged a few hushed words between one another. Pendragon picks himself up to his feet as Jacob began to stir on the floor. The Man in the Mask could've gone straight after his rival to inflict more punishment and at first it appeared he'd do so but instead he opts to step over him and grabs one of several portraits of Michael Bay off the walls... and SMASHES it right across the door frame! Jacob pleads with his eyes as he endures a little bit of psychological pain and anguish with each swing against the frame; he downright and visibly cringes when he sees Pendragon slam it on the ground and plant his boot right through the what was left. Pendragon grabs another off the wall and dooms it to a similar fate as he demolishes it on the corner of the oak table. Jacob shouts “NO MORE!” when Pendragon snatches another off the wall and with a swift toss to El Herrero punches Michael Bay right through the face!
Jacob slumped down to his knees. The pain, anguish, neigh I say HORROR he felt watching Pendragon physically abuse the likeness of the B-List sensation’s Hollywood idol bringing him a pain the likes of which he had never convinced himself he could ever feel! His arms out-stretched at his sides as he proclaimed “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Jacob was devastated. After Pendragon had destroyed the last ‘classic’ painting, he turned to Jacob. He could have almost pitied him - if Jacob weren’t such a conceited jerk at every moment in life. Still, even the blackest heart had to feel at least a tiny bit of remorse toward someone watching what they’ve modeled their life after get destroyed right in their -
CRACK!
Pendragon had turned to deliver a snap roundhouse kick to the face of a kneeling Jacob, sending him down face first. The masked man had not a single drop of sympathy for Jacob nor the torment he endured at the hands of The Upper Class throughout the entirety of Whirlwind’s tenure. No, instead this was about emasculation. This was about sending a message and ending once and for all what was the ideal plight of those who would lord their own socio-economic status over others as though that somehow made them superior. Like a hunting trophy, Pendragon placed one foot forward over Jacob’s chest, and if this were a traditional match you could have counted to a thousand right here. But this wasn’t a traditional match, now was it…
Indeed, Pendragon would need to find some way to ignite the movie star, and quicker than his movies would light up the Sunset Strip, too. Pendragon began to drag Jacob along with him, albeit briefly as Jacob felt more like deadweight, almost sandbagged. You’d assume this annoyed Pendragon, though you couldn’t really physically tell for obvious reasons. With both hands he dragged Jacob slightly closer to the wall and sat him up. A deep breath later and Pendragon had leapt onto the side of the wall Matrix style, then quickly shot himself off the wall, catching Jacob with “Turning Tides” (Disaster Kick) right on the ear - but Jacob ducked! Pendragon’s kick went wide and he went down to the floor, penance for his desecration of the iconic movie director earlier.
Jacob sat up in disbelief! Did he outsmart the man that styled himself as a strategist?! Pendragon lay motionless on the floor, face down, confirming his suspicions. With a smirk, Jacob pulled Pendragon’s body half way up to a hunched over position, draping a leg across the back of his neck. With a shriek, he pushes forward, drilling Pendragon to the floor with the “Encore” (Overdrive)!
Jacob stood tall over his fallen rival, but now he too faced a similar problem; this was not a winning position. The only way to win is to ignite your opponent!
“I summon thee, Platform with Wheels!” As Jacob bellowed out the command, the mystical segway - seemingly under it’s own volition - wheeled it’s way to Jacob, whom stepped aboard it. “Now, Brother Pendragon...prepare the kindling!”
Jacob’s boasts remained echoing through the large room, as well as Pendragon’s ears as the segway rode off in the distance… Pendragon slowly sat up rubbing the back of his neck as he looked around only to see his rival once again nowhere to be found. However it didn't take him long as he heard what appeared to be maniacal laughter in the distance; Jacob was still here somewhere and losing his grip further on reality. Pendragon slowly picks himself up, losing the power to stand as he loses his footing a few times, only with a hand on the wall does he finally recover to a vertical base. Pendragon stumbles down the hallway as his hand softly glides over the wall in case he needed to catch himself as the death march goes on for what seems like forever as he finally reaches a door cracked ajar ever so slightly.
As he cautiously pushes the door open with his foot he hears the soft clanking of piano keys striking the chords. While the notes are occasionally off-tune or as if the wrong key was pressed it mostly resemble the medley of the theme of the movie Michael Bay is most commonly known for, Transformers. Immediately Pendragon is put on alert as he scans the room with light visibly at an all-time low save for strategically placed candle light, giving the room a grim ambiance. His steps echo on the marble tiles as he keeps his head on a swivel, anticipating an ambush at any moment as he suddenly appeared to be at a disadvantage inside his own home.
An object crashes to the ground causing the masked strategist to turn his head back and to the left. A shattering sound lead to him concluding it had to be something either made of porcelain or glass; likely a room decoration defiled and destroyed all in an attempt to put him into a state of hyper-vigilance – Jacob was trying to drive him into a state of paranoia and bait him into a costly error. Pendragon begins to carefully circle towards the piano trying to keep his back to the wall to focus his attention more on his field of view with one less area to watch. As he gets closer it becomes clear that a figure appears to be parked behind the bench and Pendragon takes a ready stance to strike at a moment's notice. As he makes his way to the bench however Jacob is nowhere to be found, only the mythical segway, the platform with wheels, with a recording device placed just above the keys! If it were possible to get a peak behind the mask for just a moment one could only guess that his eyes would've nearly fallen out of sockets out of shock and the sudden realization that he was about to fall into a trap.
Suddenly a fireball shoots in his general direction, coming perilously close to his mask as Jacob stood with a sinister grin and an object in his hands. But how could he throw a fireball with his hands full?
'Brother Pendragon, this is where our story comes to an end, with nothing more than sheer baptism by fire!'
Before Pendragon could retort another fireball flew right at his face with only a split second's decision to duck being the only thing between safety and having his mask caught on fire. With his eyes presumably fixed upon Jacob as he ducks, it became clear as day that, while the fireball briefly illuminated the room; Jacob was armed with a flamethrower!
'Oh shit!'
The Man in the Mask exclaimed in the heat of the moment as he knew if he didn't act quickly he would surely be burned to a crisp! Thinking quick on his feet he grabbed the platform with wheels, dragging it directly in front of him with his head ducked just below the handlebars taking a gamble on Jacob's vanity to eschew the direct line of fire he'd have to save his precious ride. The gamble paid off as Jacob hesitated and gritted his feet as Pendragon made a swift tactical retreat towards the door. Jacob managed to re-position himself and fire another stream of flame at his hated rival but this time more as a show of force, he shouted.
'Run, run like the coward you are! Soon you'll be begging for mercy at the feet of your superiors, The Upper Class!'
As Pendragon made his way back into the hallway he came across El Herrero once again.
'This is worse than I feared, he's brought a flamethrower into the building.'
El Herrero nodded as a grin slowly formed on his face. Pendragon tilted his head, afraid that the stress of the situation may have caused his friend to lose his mind as everything they had worked for was put at imminent and immediate risk.
'Herrero... please tell me Jacob didn't push you over the deep end. We need to think of something fast, any outside help would arrive far too late before the situation escalates beyond control; we're already rapidly approaching that threshold.'
'I have something.' The wily silver fox calmly retorted. 'Follow me.'
The masked duo walked down the opposite end of the hall until El Herrero stopped at what appeared to be a utility closet. Upon opening the door he peaks his body inside and fishes for something until he finally produced what appeared to be two fire extinguishers bound together with a contraption at the top that appeared to draw from both tanks with that accessory fashioned to a hose with a cone-like opening at the end.
'What in the world..' Pendragon had no clue what he was looking at... he wasn't sure what he was looking at was even stable as the usual gauges had been stripped from the contraption.
'What IS this?'
'Do you like it?'
'...I don't even know what this is. It looks like it used to be a pair of fire extinguishers.'
'That's because it is.'
'First of all why do we have two fire extinguishers... Frankenstein'd together for lack of a better term and second of all... how come I'm just NOW finding out about this?'
El Herrero chuckled as he spoke with a certain amount of marvel about his creation.
'Well Pendragon, do you remember that time in the Caribbean when our boat was nearly engulfed in flames due to an electrical problem on the ship's kitchen?'
'I do, it was a freak accident... what of it?'
'Well, had we not been in port there's a very good chance we would've perished at sea instead of being inconvenienced into spending a few extra days in Puerto Rico. Life has a way of throwing the unexpected your direction and I didn't want to ever be caught in a situation like that again. Sometimes one fire extinguisher isn't enough in a situation where seconds can be the difference in thousands of dollars in damages or a loss of health and life. So with a few parts I conjured up I decided to create the world's strongest fire extinguisher for home use. '
'Is this thing even stable? I mean... how did you manage to find the oddest little part to feed into both tanks like that... I'm not even sure there's a thing you could tear apart and cannibalize to make that kind of fit.'
'I printed it.'
'Printed it?'
'You know, a 3D printer.'
'WHEN did we get a 3D printer?' Pendragon was even more beside himself than he was mere moments before, and that was AFTER nearly getting torched, something which his body language gave away very easily with his highly animated movements.
'You entrusted me to, and I quote, 'take care of any loose ends' for acquiring furniture or other assorted objects and devices for the estate and that... broadly falls under that category. An old man needs hobbies; I like to build stuff.'
Pendragon didn't have time to argue over whether a 3D printer really counted as a necessity or not at the present moment. He picked up the tanks by their makeshift straps and fixes it to his back.
'Does it work?'
'One way to find out.'
Not the five words Pendragon was hoping to hear. He gripped the hose as his thumb came across a button, likely the switch that made the Frankenstein monster work.
'El Herrero, I need you to cut the power. If he's still inside that room he'll know something is amiss when the light from the hallway disappears if he's waiting in anticipation; and I'm sure he is. But he won't know if or when, if we play this right. If this thing works... we're only going to have one shot at getting this right.'
El Herrero swiftly took off in pursuit of his duty as Pendragon was about to walk towards his destination as something else seemed to catch his eye...
Meanwhile Jacob was pacing amongst the candlelit room as the Transformers medley was looping on repeat. His eyes were fixed upon the doorway knowing that Pendragon would sooner or later have to come to him or risk further destruction. Suddenly the light vanished from the hallway as darkness gripped the entire estate save for the candles. Jacob gripped his flamethrower tightly with his finger on the trigger ready to shoot anything that moves. He cautiously took several steps forward as suddenly....
WHOOOOUMP!
A soccer ball flew right at him! Jacob hastily pulled the trigger in a panic trying to hit the projectile but missed the ball as it hit him right in the shoulder! Certainly a lucky shot which served to throw Jacob completely off tilt! A careful observer would notice Pendragon's figure moving through the room from Jacob's blindside as the flame briefly illuminated the room but Hollywood Jesus was none the wiser to the feint. Jacob couldn't believe the audacity of being struck by such a lowly, common Wal-Mart quality sports ball, oh the humanity; the sheer horror of being struck by an object of such inferior quality! Jacob shook his head in disgust before turning to the left to see if Pendragon snuck his way in from the distraction; nothing. He turns his head to the right... and catches a face full of gas and foam from the extinguisher! Hollywood Jesus screams as he's blinded from a direct shot, covering his face as the flamethrower dangled precariously between his fingers. Pendragon wastes no time as he grabs him by the hair and drags him over to the piano before proceeding to slam his head repeatedly on the roof!
WHACK!
WHACK!
WHACK!
THUD!
Pendragon then lifts up the hood of the piano and slams Jacob's head underneath it, slamming the roof on top of his head several times for good measure leaving his foe hanging limp halfway into a piano.
The masked strategist then takes a seat at the bench, turning the Transformers theme off and casually tossing the recorder to the side before he created a melody himself as he slammed on the keys repeatedly in no particular order! Jacob's body writhed in sheer agony as Pendragon pounded on as many keys as possible, assaulting and overloading his foe's senses!
When the final note was played, Jacob's grip of the flamethrower relinquished itself, coincidentally finding itself in the hands of our protagonist…
Jacob was at the feet of Pendragon, who now only had to pull the trigger and end this horrific, fiery encounter. What's he doing? He stares down at Jacob for a moment more, almost as if he were thinking about something? Waiting for something. Weakly, Jacob slowly sat up, looking into the piercing eye slots of our masked man...AND FLIPS HIM THE DOUBLE BIRD!!
Incensed in rage now, Pendragon hesitates no longer! The camera pans around to face Pendragon as the man finally squeezes the trigger, causing flames to shoot out of the device, only the screams of Jacob and the smell of burning flesh could be seen and heard. A quick jump cut to Jacob shows the fire around him then a cut back to a relieved Pendragon. Was he a hero now, to his estate? His friend? Or did he become what he fought against, after burning a man alive...................
Pendragon dropped to the floor, his back against the piano, flamethrower at his side. His breaths were heavy with both relief and angst. The nightmare was over. The nightmare was over?
Fade.
~We cut back to the stunned look of Smith and the confused look of Hood~
Smith: What on EARTH…what a war!
Hood: Did that dragon guy just kill our newest signing?
Smith: It’s pro wrestling so I’m sure he’s okay…then again, I’m used to the way OCW does things. Whirlwind…might be a different story
Hood: What is Hotstuff thinking…accepting an inferno match against a guy covered head to toe with clothing and a mask?
Smith: Well, technically I think if any of that caught fire Hotstuff would have won…then again, this is OCW. Plus, we haven’t had an inferno match in years
Hood: That was fucking entertaining, though. I have to say. A great addition to tonight’s show. Definitely could tell that was a Welsh idea…NOT a Zybala one.
Smith: I was highly entertained. Those two brought IT
Hood: What is it?
Smith: It’s what they brought and I enjoyed it! Here’s hoping Pendragon shows up in OCW again
Hood: MORE masked people?
Smith: Would you relax? He’s talented…who cares if he’s got a mask
Hood: Ugh…all these fucking masks
Smith: Assuming Hotstuff survived…next time we will be seeing him, he will be bald
Hood: Ah, so he’s going for the Mack O’Connor look
Smith: In a way, sure
Hood: Nice…why fight male patterned baldness, ya know?
Smith: It’s not as if he was going bald…did you see that thick hair? He lost his hair because he caught fire!
Hood: Only in pro wrestling would that previous sentence make ANY sense.
Smith: Indeed…well folks we look forward to seeing Jacob Hotstuff in the very near future. He’s going to be a tremendous force in OCW. Now, it’s time to move on…we’ve got a Paradigm Title match to get to!
First, the full show link if you are interested: www.onlinechampionshipwrestling.com/mayhem.html
Now, the full match if you just wanted to watch us!
This is the culmination of a five month blood rivalry resulting in the first singles match between “Hollywood Jesus” Jacob Hotstuff and the masked Strategist, Pendragon. Originally slated for a confrontation in August at the pay-per-view extravaganza “Wildfire", obviously now that can't happen. We are eternally grateful to both the OCW for allowing us to tell this story here, as well as the fine folks at Whirlwind Wrestling LLC for allowing us the opportunity to bring this match the much-needed airtime it deserves. Thank you guys, we love you and you'll be missed! Now, with that said...you paid for a show, and we will give you exactly that!
In what began with a statement…
Both men threw their best shots at the other, each with a plan to enable and neither having “defeat” as a part of those plans;
In the end though, it wasn't The Upper Class that would flex their will;
But it was The Upper Class that would get the last laugh;
Jacob Hotstuff had thrown a fireball into the face of Pendragon, but not even that would hold him down…the next month at Day of Judgment, Jacob found himself on the wrong side of a veteran’s Monterrey Meltdown (Coquina Clutch), but that wasn't where Jacob’s poor luck would end. While being checked out by a physician, Pendragon would take it upon himself to “crash the party” so to speak;
Pendragon had set the omen in position. He wasn't going to stop until he had rid the wrestling world of Jacob. And Jacob wouldn't stop until...well, we'll let you see how Jacob upped the ante, at Triple Threat;
And now it's all come down to this;
OCW: Mayhem on the Midway
Inferno Match: Hair vs Mask
Jacob Hotstuff vs Pendragon
Co-written by: Jacob Hotstuff & Pendragon
Produced by: Whirlwind Wrestling LLC
Interior: The Pendragon Estate
The red Segway PT raced over a loose dirt road at “breakneck” [sic] speeds with Jacob Hotstuff stood atop it, his face cold and remorseless as he crashed through the elaborate iron gate that wasn’t securely shut.
“Mua ha ha...come, Pendragon!” Jacob lambasted to no one in particular, “The time is near...we must settle this. I must rob you of that which makes you, you - your mask, your identity - and I must burn it to ash!”
It didn’t take much more than a few minutes for Jacob to roll up to the front door, solid oak as it was, and ornamented by large golden hinges and a chinese dragon door knocker. Jacob took the ornament in his hand, dropping it again the door in a loud “thud”.
Thud. Thud. Thud...to which the door slowly opened, revealing Pendragon dressed more casually, but with his iconic mask strapped tightly to his head.
“Jacob? What on Ear -”
“Silence! The time has come, we must do battle! For superiority! For everything! For nothing. This ends. Right, NOW!”
Pendragon stared at his Whirlwind adversary, a bit dumbstruck, and maybe partially taken aback by this Hollywood loon wearing a fur coat and riding a segway. Curiously, Pendragon shook his head.
“Jacob...Whirlwind is over. We’re not needed anymore. We don’t have to do this…”
“So you’re scared of Hollywood Jesus then, of my brilliance!” Jacob lashed back at the masked man, shoving past still on his segway. Pendragon turned around, now a bit irritated at his Whirlwind nemesis inviting himself into his home…
“Jacob, you need to leave. You’re not taking my mask, I’m not burning you...we’re not even being paid anymore, what part of services not required do you not understand? Whirlwind is over. We’re not fighting...Wildfire isn’t happening.”
“You fool! Brother Pendragon...” Jacob reaches to the wall, grasping a [conveniently placed] wooden practice sword, brandishing the “blade” at Pendragon’s body! “Do you not know? This is the part, when you fall down and bleed to death! En garde!” All of this while Jacob still stood on the segway, of course.
Pendragon stared blankly at the clearly off-his-rocker B-List sensation, but the gravity of the situation not lost on him. With the “sword” held with tip-to-chest, it was obvious what Pendragon had to do…
With a flash he spun around, his backfist knocking the wooden blade from his body, granting time to take his own “sword” from the wall, which happened to also be so conveniently placed.
“Jacob...you shall leave me no choice…”
Jacob is quick to go for his sword, momentarily stepping off the segway as Pendragon was quick to close the gap. Jacob made it back to his pair of Hollywood Wheels but quickly tumbled backwards with a swift flourish from his rival catching him square in the ribs. Jacob gritted his teeth as Pendragon ascended to the platform with wheels and with his sword raised high in the air gave chase to the man known as Hollywood Jesus as he was quick to put space between each other.
Jacob cleverly used the meticulously arranged furniture as a second man to keep Pendragon just out of reach as the gears were turning in his head on a way to reverse this sudden shift in fortune. Pendragon meanwhile invoked images of a mad general on a modern chariot seeking to vanquish his foe as he swung horizontally, missing by inches as Jacob ducked and tossed a chair into his path. Pendragon backed up and wheeled around the obstacle as he resumed pursuit as Jacob was beginning to run out of furniture to duck and dodge behind. Looking to nearby shelves he began tossing various objects; books, paperweights, a cup of marbles and even a snow globe all to no avail as Pendragon was not deterred in his chase. Finally Jacob reaches towards a cabinet and pulls out a pewter candle holder and chucks it with all his might! The candle holder lands right where it needs to, jamming the platform at the right wheel as it came a sudden halt, the momentum throwing the masked strategist off!
Pendragon's sword skids across the room as Jacob slowly twirls the handle with his fingers as he approaches his rival before swinging downward using both hands.
WHACK!
Pendragon rolled out of the way at just the right moment as Jacob flashed a grimace showcasing both anger and disbelief. The Man in the Mask kipped up off the floor and allowed his feet to move swiftly and fluidly as he followed up each dodge with a kick, alternating high and low. Professional Wrestling's (Self-Proclaimed) Michael Bay however knew that he couldn't allow his nemesis to arm himself and maneuvered himself in a way to place himself between the training sword fifteen or so feet away. Pendragon followed him like a shadow and closed the gap swiftly as he shifted his body just enough to evade the downward swing with a palm strike straight to the chest causing him to drop his weapon! Jacob gasps for air as Pendragon slid down the table Dukes of Hazzard style to his weapon. Suddenly the air of combat was interrupted as a new person emerged on the scene.
'Pendragon? I wasn't aware we were expecting company...'
The voice of El Herrero, Pendragon's trusted confidant, the Alfred to his Batman, cut the tension in the room if only for a moment. Wearing a navy blue suit with a mask to match and a grey beard protruding through the bottom. He was carrying a silver tray with a sizzling hot fajita sitting on top of it. El Herrero was a man more prepared for dinner than war.
'We weren't. This lunatic showed up here unannounced to, in his words, “do battle”.'
El Herrero turned his head as the smug grin of Jacob was swiftly looking back at him, still on a knee.
'Oh, this guy. You should've just told me it was Jacob; that explains everything. You mean he came all this way just for this? Did he get the memo that your services were no longer required? Pretty sure everyone got their pink slip and their last paycheck.' You could almost hear El Herrero's eyes roll behind his mask.
'Silence, Jeeves! How dare you mock at the feet of your social superiors, The Upper Class!' Jacob was swift to quip back. Pendragon and El Herrero turned to look at one another, their body language mirroring one another; one part disbelief and two parts astonishment.
'...Should I call the authorities or the psych ward?' El Herrero's shoulders slumped as he was ready to just put an end to this before the estate was turned into a war zone.
'That won't be necessary. Besides he'd just keep coming back. Speaking of, remind me to change home security systems... clearly our current offering has failed us.'
Jacob had enough as he grabbed a hold of the pan of sizzling fajitas, which conveniently had a pot holder draped over the handle and flung it in it's entirety at his adversary! Pendragon managed to parry the pan but not the sizzling food that landed all over him which served to stain his clothes more than anything else. Jacob then entered a struggle with El Herrero over the silver tray in which he just snatched dinner off of. Pendragon is quick to run to his old friend's aid as El Herrero and Hollywood Jesus struggled over the platter more than an albino silverback and a Roman soldier in a gladiatorial arena to prove their dominance with Jacob's youth inevitably winning out. Pendragon arrived just in time to take a direct hit as Jacob smashed the silver platter over his head. Pendragon took three steps forward swinging wildly with his sword before faceplanting on the ground.
El Herrero is quick to try to rush to his friend's aid but Jacob dispatches him quickly with a backfist to the face sending the masked senior citizen down for a nap. Pendragon appears to be out like a light as a lightbulb goes off in Jacob's head. He goes over to his segway, dislodging the candle holder from the wheel allowing the contraption to work “good enough” to go in forward and reverse. Hollywood Jesus takes what appears to be a victory lap around the room and his fallen foe before dismounting the platform with wheels and picking the Masked Man up and placing him on the device, handlebars supporting his slumped over body. With the segway Jacob guides his foe to the fireplace in which a signed, one of a kind painting of Jerry Stiller sat upon the mantle above it. Hollywood Jesus unceremoniously yanks Pendragon backward off the device causing it to halt and the masked strategist to fall prone on his back.
The fire crackled ominously as the sinister reddish orange flickers of plasma danced a dance of death as the wood within was being charred beyond recognition. Jacob grabbed Pendragon by the back of the head, using his mask as a point to fasten his grip, as he dropped to a knee as he held it towards the fireplace.
'You want to read me my last rites?! You want to “anoint” me in kerosine and send me pictures of fire and things burning, you masked fuggo freak?! I'm going to give you a real reason to wear that mask and then I'm going to take it away from you! I AM the Michael Bay of Professional Wrestling and you're about to star in my next film; Hollywood Jesus Presents:, Return of the Messiah: Ashes to Ashes the Dragon Burns Down in 4K Ultra HD!'
Jacob Hotstuff gives his Hollywood villain monologue before trying to shove Pendragon's head into the fireplace! The Man in the Mask comes to life not a moment sooner as he presses his hands outside the fireplace to prevent his head from being shoved into the open flame! Jacob shoves harder trying to force his head inside but to no avail, he's not budging! Jacob, so desperate to burn his foe begins to press forward with his entire body now knowing there would be no escape if Pendragon lost his grip now. Pendragon's grip slips slightly as his face gets uncomfortably close to the flames but somehow, someway he finds the strength to throw Jacob's body off his back and slumps to a seated position next to the fireplace.
Jacob is incensed now and looking for something, anything to hit Pendragon with. Immediately he goes for the painting of Jerry Stiller off the mantle and slams it right through Pendragon's head as he attempts to get up. Comically, the painting remains dangled around Pendragon’s neck with his head protruding through the center of the prolific painting. There would be no time for laughs though; Jacob knew his fight was not yet over. With a boot to the side of the masked man’s face, Pendragon is kicked back into the mantle and allowing the movie star to take his leave.
The shot would remain fixed on Pendragon for a number of minutes before finally coming to, with him slowly removing the now ruined picture frame from around his neck. Of course to his surprise, Jacob was nowhere to be seen. No way Jacob had barged in with such a grandiose entrance only to leave a few minutes later. No, no, that wouldn’t be like Jacob Hotstuff at all…”So where…” Pendragon muttered to himself, finally risen to his feet. His eyes dart around the room, finally resting on a doorway left cracked open. Only darkness emanated from within.
“If that’s the only lead…”
Cautiously, Pendragon stepped into the darkness, calling for Jacob to show himself at once. If this was some kind of joke it really wasn’t funny anymo - Pendragon suddenly gasps, barely falling backwards in time to avoid the sudden rush of velocity above. More frightened than anything, Pendragon cautiously moves forward to inspect whatever that was. It’s a box. A box? Yes, just a box...until the lights came on suddenly. In the bright light, Pendragon could tell two things. One, he was stood in his own war room, fabulously adorned by posh rugs and a lengthy golden oak table, and scattered about the floor were portraits of some of the best generals of history. Everyone from Sun Tzu to Washington, Grant to Lee and, yes, even Genghis Khan. Wait, on the floor? Much to Pendragon’s dismay, the portraits lay scattered about, but replacing them on the walls were none other than several different lifelike portraits of Michael Bay, each painting utilizing a different pose than the last! Pendragon shakes his head in disgust before finally turning back to the box that could have squashed him. He picks it up and closely inspects it, searching for the label…
To his horror, he drops the box on his toe as he stumbles back, the camera zooming in to see just what scared him away...ACME Napalm it said. “What the ever lovin…” the masked man exclaimed! “I could have been crushed, or doused……...doused in NAPALM?! This, this is too -”
In the distance, the clickety clack of wheels to the floor can be heard, perhaps the only warning Pendragon would receive. The bright lights intensify, nearly blinding the man in the mask while Hollywood screeches pierced his ear drums - it was Jacob sat atop his platform with wheels, speeding toward his target at “breakneck” speeds before finally, with a death-defying leap from the Segway, landing flush onto Pendragon via Lou Thesz Press!! From the mount position Jacob laid in punch after punch after punch onto his rival, ending with both hands wrapped tightly around Pendragon’s throat!
A deep throttling would be the Dragon’s demise?! Quickly, Pendragon began to fade as the breaths quickly passed through his lungs… just when it looked like Jacob finally snuffed out the masked strategist and prevailed at long last...
THUMP!
El Herrero comes in with the clutch save and receipt having smacked Jacob Hotstuff in head with what appears to be a volume of the Encyclopedia Britannica! Pendragon gasps for air on the ground as the hit while enough to break the choke was far from a knockout blow. El Herrero goes for a second swing but Hollywood Jesus ducks and hits the elder masked man with a rather flashy looking uppercut. El Herrero stirs on the ground trying to slowly get up as Jacob takes his time kicking his foot into his face, imploring him to kiss his feet! El Herrero however starts... laughing? Jacob tilts his head rather perplexed, wondering why this man, who had to at least be somewhere in his sixties was laughing. Clearly it wasn't his Gucci boots or designer jeans but yet that silver haired glorified butler (in his eyes anyway) was mocking him all the same! Jacob considers yanking the old fool up by his beard but afraid of finding a baby bird or last week's lunch buried somewhere within it decides not to, instead using the mask for leverage as he lifts him up.
Jacob locks him in a three-quarter facelock...
El Herrero reaches into his jacket as Jacob begins to transition...
CLACK CLA- BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ!
El Herrero, brandishing a taser shocks the living daylights out of Jacob Hotstuff as his eyes light up and nearly bulge out of his skull before falling to his knees! El Herrero turns off the device and slides it back into his coat as he eschews a chance at further payback opting to check on his friend. By this point Pendragon had pulled himself up to seated position as the two masked men exchanged a few hushed words between one another. Pendragon picks himself up to his feet as Jacob began to stir on the floor. The Man in the Mask could've gone straight after his rival to inflict more punishment and at first it appeared he'd do so but instead he opts to step over him and grabs one of several portraits of Michael Bay off the walls... and SMASHES it right across the door frame! Jacob pleads with his eyes as he endures a little bit of psychological pain and anguish with each swing against the frame; he downright and visibly cringes when he sees Pendragon slam it on the ground and plant his boot right through the what was left. Pendragon grabs another off the wall and dooms it to a similar fate as he demolishes it on the corner of the oak table. Jacob shouts “NO MORE!” when Pendragon snatches another off the wall and with a swift toss to El Herrero punches Michael Bay right through the face!
Jacob slumped down to his knees. The pain, anguish, neigh I say HORROR he felt watching Pendragon physically abuse the likeness of the B-List sensation’s Hollywood idol bringing him a pain the likes of which he had never convinced himself he could ever feel! His arms out-stretched at his sides as he proclaimed “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Jacob was devastated. After Pendragon had destroyed the last ‘classic’ painting, he turned to Jacob. He could have almost pitied him - if Jacob weren’t such a conceited jerk at every moment in life. Still, even the blackest heart had to feel at least a tiny bit of remorse toward someone watching what they’ve modeled their life after get destroyed right in their -
CRACK!
Pendragon had turned to deliver a snap roundhouse kick to the face of a kneeling Jacob, sending him down face first. The masked man had not a single drop of sympathy for Jacob nor the torment he endured at the hands of The Upper Class throughout the entirety of Whirlwind’s tenure. No, instead this was about emasculation. This was about sending a message and ending once and for all what was the ideal plight of those who would lord their own socio-economic status over others as though that somehow made them superior. Like a hunting trophy, Pendragon placed one foot forward over Jacob’s chest, and if this were a traditional match you could have counted to a thousand right here. But this wasn’t a traditional match, now was it…
Indeed, Pendragon would need to find some way to ignite the movie star, and quicker than his movies would light up the Sunset Strip, too. Pendragon began to drag Jacob along with him, albeit briefly as Jacob felt more like deadweight, almost sandbagged. You’d assume this annoyed Pendragon, though you couldn’t really physically tell for obvious reasons. With both hands he dragged Jacob slightly closer to the wall and sat him up. A deep breath later and Pendragon had leapt onto the side of the wall Matrix style, then quickly shot himself off the wall, catching Jacob with “Turning Tides” (Disaster Kick) right on the ear - but Jacob ducked! Pendragon’s kick went wide and he went down to the floor, penance for his desecration of the iconic movie director earlier.
Jacob sat up in disbelief! Did he outsmart the man that styled himself as a strategist?! Pendragon lay motionless on the floor, face down, confirming his suspicions. With a smirk, Jacob pulled Pendragon’s body half way up to a hunched over position, draping a leg across the back of his neck. With a shriek, he pushes forward, drilling Pendragon to the floor with the “Encore” (Overdrive)!
Jacob stood tall over his fallen rival, but now he too faced a similar problem; this was not a winning position. The only way to win is to ignite your opponent!
“I summon thee, Platform with Wheels!” As Jacob bellowed out the command, the mystical segway - seemingly under it’s own volition - wheeled it’s way to Jacob, whom stepped aboard it. “Now, Brother Pendragon...prepare the kindling!”
Jacob’s boasts remained echoing through the large room, as well as Pendragon’s ears as the segway rode off in the distance… Pendragon slowly sat up rubbing the back of his neck as he looked around only to see his rival once again nowhere to be found. However it didn't take him long as he heard what appeared to be maniacal laughter in the distance; Jacob was still here somewhere and losing his grip further on reality. Pendragon slowly picks himself up, losing the power to stand as he loses his footing a few times, only with a hand on the wall does he finally recover to a vertical base. Pendragon stumbles down the hallway as his hand softly glides over the wall in case he needed to catch himself as the death march goes on for what seems like forever as he finally reaches a door cracked ajar ever so slightly.
As he cautiously pushes the door open with his foot he hears the soft clanking of piano keys striking the chords. While the notes are occasionally off-tune or as if the wrong key was pressed it mostly resemble the medley of the theme of the movie Michael Bay is most commonly known for, Transformers. Immediately Pendragon is put on alert as he scans the room with light visibly at an all-time low save for strategically placed candle light, giving the room a grim ambiance. His steps echo on the marble tiles as he keeps his head on a swivel, anticipating an ambush at any moment as he suddenly appeared to be at a disadvantage inside his own home.
An object crashes to the ground causing the masked strategist to turn his head back and to the left. A shattering sound lead to him concluding it had to be something either made of porcelain or glass; likely a room decoration defiled and destroyed all in an attempt to put him into a state of hyper-vigilance – Jacob was trying to drive him into a state of paranoia and bait him into a costly error. Pendragon begins to carefully circle towards the piano trying to keep his back to the wall to focus his attention more on his field of view with one less area to watch. As he gets closer it becomes clear that a figure appears to be parked behind the bench and Pendragon takes a ready stance to strike at a moment's notice. As he makes his way to the bench however Jacob is nowhere to be found, only the mythical segway, the platform with wheels, with a recording device placed just above the keys! If it were possible to get a peak behind the mask for just a moment one could only guess that his eyes would've nearly fallen out of sockets out of shock and the sudden realization that he was about to fall into a trap.
Suddenly a fireball shoots in his general direction, coming perilously close to his mask as Jacob stood with a sinister grin and an object in his hands. But how could he throw a fireball with his hands full?
'Brother Pendragon, this is where our story comes to an end, with nothing more than sheer baptism by fire!'
Before Pendragon could retort another fireball flew right at his face with only a split second's decision to duck being the only thing between safety and having his mask caught on fire. With his eyes presumably fixed upon Jacob as he ducks, it became clear as day that, while the fireball briefly illuminated the room; Jacob was armed with a flamethrower!
'Oh shit!'
The Man in the Mask exclaimed in the heat of the moment as he knew if he didn't act quickly he would surely be burned to a crisp! Thinking quick on his feet he grabbed the platform with wheels, dragging it directly in front of him with his head ducked just below the handlebars taking a gamble on Jacob's vanity to eschew the direct line of fire he'd have to save his precious ride. The gamble paid off as Jacob hesitated and gritted his feet as Pendragon made a swift tactical retreat towards the door. Jacob managed to re-position himself and fire another stream of flame at his hated rival but this time more as a show of force, he shouted.
'Run, run like the coward you are! Soon you'll be begging for mercy at the feet of your superiors, The Upper Class!'
As Pendragon made his way back into the hallway he came across El Herrero once again.
'This is worse than I feared, he's brought a flamethrower into the building.'
El Herrero nodded as a grin slowly formed on his face. Pendragon tilted his head, afraid that the stress of the situation may have caused his friend to lose his mind as everything they had worked for was put at imminent and immediate risk.
'Herrero... please tell me Jacob didn't push you over the deep end. We need to think of something fast, any outside help would arrive far too late before the situation escalates beyond control; we're already rapidly approaching that threshold.'
'I have something.' The wily silver fox calmly retorted. 'Follow me.'
The masked duo walked down the opposite end of the hall until El Herrero stopped at what appeared to be a utility closet. Upon opening the door he peaks his body inside and fishes for something until he finally produced what appeared to be two fire extinguishers bound together with a contraption at the top that appeared to draw from both tanks with that accessory fashioned to a hose with a cone-like opening at the end.
'What in the world..' Pendragon had no clue what he was looking at... he wasn't sure what he was looking at was even stable as the usual gauges had been stripped from the contraption.
'What IS this?'
'Do you like it?'
'...I don't even know what this is. It looks like it used to be a pair of fire extinguishers.'
'That's because it is.'
'First of all why do we have two fire extinguishers... Frankenstein'd together for lack of a better term and second of all... how come I'm just NOW finding out about this?'
El Herrero chuckled as he spoke with a certain amount of marvel about his creation.
'Well Pendragon, do you remember that time in the Caribbean when our boat was nearly engulfed in flames due to an electrical problem on the ship's kitchen?'
'I do, it was a freak accident... what of it?'
'Well, had we not been in port there's a very good chance we would've perished at sea instead of being inconvenienced into spending a few extra days in Puerto Rico. Life has a way of throwing the unexpected your direction and I didn't want to ever be caught in a situation like that again. Sometimes one fire extinguisher isn't enough in a situation where seconds can be the difference in thousands of dollars in damages or a loss of health and life. So with a few parts I conjured up I decided to create the world's strongest fire extinguisher for home use. '
'Is this thing even stable? I mean... how did you manage to find the oddest little part to feed into both tanks like that... I'm not even sure there's a thing you could tear apart and cannibalize to make that kind of fit.'
'I printed it.'
'Printed it?'
'You know, a 3D printer.'
'WHEN did we get a 3D printer?' Pendragon was even more beside himself than he was mere moments before, and that was AFTER nearly getting torched, something which his body language gave away very easily with his highly animated movements.
'You entrusted me to, and I quote, 'take care of any loose ends' for acquiring furniture or other assorted objects and devices for the estate and that... broadly falls under that category. An old man needs hobbies; I like to build stuff.'
Pendragon didn't have time to argue over whether a 3D printer really counted as a necessity or not at the present moment. He picked up the tanks by their makeshift straps and fixes it to his back.
'Does it work?'
'One way to find out.'
Not the five words Pendragon was hoping to hear. He gripped the hose as his thumb came across a button, likely the switch that made the Frankenstein monster work.
'El Herrero, I need you to cut the power. If he's still inside that room he'll know something is amiss when the light from the hallway disappears if he's waiting in anticipation; and I'm sure he is. But he won't know if or when, if we play this right. If this thing works... we're only going to have one shot at getting this right.'
El Herrero swiftly took off in pursuit of his duty as Pendragon was about to walk towards his destination as something else seemed to catch his eye...
Meanwhile Jacob was pacing amongst the candlelit room as the Transformers medley was looping on repeat. His eyes were fixed upon the doorway knowing that Pendragon would sooner or later have to come to him or risk further destruction. Suddenly the light vanished from the hallway as darkness gripped the entire estate save for the candles. Jacob gripped his flamethrower tightly with his finger on the trigger ready to shoot anything that moves. He cautiously took several steps forward as suddenly....
WHOOOOUMP!
A soccer ball flew right at him! Jacob hastily pulled the trigger in a panic trying to hit the projectile but missed the ball as it hit him right in the shoulder! Certainly a lucky shot which served to throw Jacob completely off tilt! A careful observer would notice Pendragon's figure moving through the room from Jacob's blindside as the flame briefly illuminated the room but Hollywood Jesus was none the wiser to the feint. Jacob couldn't believe the audacity of being struck by such a lowly, common Wal-Mart quality sports ball, oh the humanity; the sheer horror of being struck by an object of such inferior quality! Jacob shook his head in disgust before turning to the left to see if Pendragon snuck his way in from the distraction; nothing. He turns his head to the right... and catches a face full of gas and foam from the extinguisher! Hollywood Jesus screams as he's blinded from a direct shot, covering his face as the flamethrower dangled precariously between his fingers. Pendragon wastes no time as he grabs him by the hair and drags him over to the piano before proceeding to slam his head repeatedly on the roof!
WHACK!
WHACK!
WHACK!
THUD!
Pendragon then lifts up the hood of the piano and slams Jacob's head underneath it, slamming the roof on top of his head several times for good measure leaving his foe hanging limp halfway into a piano.
The masked strategist then takes a seat at the bench, turning the Transformers theme off and casually tossing the recorder to the side before he created a melody himself as he slammed on the keys repeatedly in no particular order! Jacob's body writhed in sheer agony as Pendragon pounded on as many keys as possible, assaulting and overloading his foe's senses!
When the final note was played, Jacob's grip of the flamethrower relinquished itself, coincidentally finding itself in the hands of our protagonist…
Jacob was at the feet of Pendragon, who now only had to pull the trigger and end this horrific, fiery encounter. What's he doing? He stares down at Jacob for a moment more, almost as if he were thinking about something? Waiting for something. Weakly, Jacob slowly sat up, looking into the piercing eye slots of our masked man...AND FLIPS HIM THE DOUBLE BIRD!!
Incensed in rage now, Pendragon hesitates no longer! The camera pans around to face Pendragon as the man finally squeezes the trigger, causing flames to shoot out of the device, only the screams of Jacob and the smell of burning flesh could be seen and heard. A quick jump cut to Jacob shows the fire around him then a cut back to a relieved Pendragon. Was he a hero now, to his estate? His friend? Or did he become what he fought against, after burning a man alive...................
Pendragon dropped to the floor, his back against the piano, flamethrower at his side. His breaths were heavy with both relief and angst. The nightmare was over. The nightmare was over?
Fade.
~We cut back to the stunned look of Smith and the confused look of Hood~
Smith: What on EARTH…what a war!
Hood: Did that dragon guy just kill our newest signing?
Smith: It’s pro wrestling so I’m sure he’s okay…then again, I’m used to the way OCW does things. Whirlwind…might be a different story
Hood: What is Hotstuff thinking…accepting an inferno match against a guy covered head to toe with clothing and a mask?
Smith: Well, technically I think if any of that caught fire Hotstuff would have won…then again, this is OCW. Plus, we haven’t had an inferno match in years
Hood: That was fucking entertaining, though. I have to say. A great addition to tonight’s show. Definitely could tell that was a Welsh idea…NOT a Zybala one.
Smith: I was highly entertained. Those two brought IT
Hood: What is it?
Smith: It’s what they brought and I enjoyed it! Here’s hoping Pendragon shows up in OCW again
Hood: MORE masked people?
Smith: Would you relax? He’s talented…who cares if he’s got a mask
Hood: Ugh…all these fucking masks
Smith: Assuming Hotstuff survived…next time we will be seeing him, he will be bald
Hood: Ah, so he’s going for the Mack O’Connor look
Smith: In a way, sure
Hood: Nice…why fight male patterned baldness, ya know?
Smith: It’s not as if he was going bald…did you see that thick hair? He lost his hair because he caught fire!
Hood: Only in pro wrestling would that previous sentence make ANY sense.
Smith: Indeed…well folks we look forward to seeing Jacob Hotstuff in the very near future. He’s going to be a tremendous force in OCW. Now, it’s time to move on…we’ve got a Paradigm Title match to get to!